- Kevin Arnold: Nice of you to get out of bed, Butthead.
- Wayne Arnold: Shut up, Troll. Besides, what's the hurry?
- Kevin Arnold: Well, for one thing, it's eleven o'clock.
- Wayne Arnold: What? What you have a plane to catch?
- Kevin Arnold: [referring to Jack's list of chores] Wayne, we have to get this stuff done!
- Wayne Arnold: Sorry, I made other plans.
- Kevin Arnold: Well, I made other plans too, you know.
- Wayne Arnold: Like what?
- Kevin Arnold: Well... I'm having a party here tonight.
- Wayne Arnold: You're having a party? What are you gonna do, rent a pony?
- Kevin Arnold: No, just some of the guys are coming over to play poker.
- Wayne Arnold: That's not a party. That's a Butthead convention.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: It was 6am when the last guest left. After three hours of cleaning, I'd barely scratched the surface. It was like trying to straighten up after Woodstock.
- Young Kevin Arnold: [just after Wayne takes the blame for the after-party mess] Or just maybe, for that one afternoon...
- Kevin Arnold: Wayne...
- Young Kevin Arnold: ...my brother saw in me, a little bit of himself.
- Wayne Arnold: You know, you really are a Butthead.
- Wayne Arnold: [as Jack and Norma leave for the weekend] Well, I'm out of here.
- Kevin Arnold: Wait a minute. You're going to school early?
- Wayne Arnold: No, there's no school today. It's a holiday. It's 'National Parents Go Away Day'.
- [laughs]
- Wayne Arnold: Ta ta, scrote.
- Kevin Arnold: Wayne, come on. You gotta help me.
- Wayne Arnold: You know, scrote. I actually think this is gonna be good for you.
- Young Kevin Arnold: And I guess that's when I realised; Wayne Arnold, my brother, my own flesh and blood, had the heart of a toadstool.
- Kevin Arnold: Fine! If you don't wanna help me, then I'll do it myself.
- Young Kevin Arnold: Hey, I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone...
- [Jack honks his car horn, as Jack and Norma return home early]
- Young Kevin Arnold: ... except maybe a priest, or a registered nurse.
- Wayne Arnold: Boy, this really isn't your day!
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: Growing up brothers is kind of a mixed bag. Strangers, warriors, enemies, idiots, friends. One day you fight to the death, the next you lay down your lives for each other. I never did say thanks to Wayne for what he did, but I washed his Courbiere. Waxed it too. I figured, hey, any guy who'd do a thing like that, deserved a shiny car.