Grace Adler: Your cook's name is "Cook"?
Karen Walker: No Grace he has a name! I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me. "Where are my damn eggs... Paul!" Paul. Oh god, Paul is dead? Now who the hell is going to cook for us?!
Will Truman: I guess this concludes the mourning period.
Grace Adler: You look good.
Campbell: You look really good.
Grace Adler: I can't believe you're here.
Karen Walker: [To Grace] Honey, Campbell brought the wood in... Looks like he'll be leaving with it too.
Karen Walker: Hey I have feelilngs too you know.....
[Jack and Karen both break out laughing]
Karen Walker: Dammit, I was trying to keep a straight face.
Grace Adler: [After Karen throws her keys to Jack and Will and they don't catch them.] Karen, the gays don't catch.
Will Truman: [About Jack] Ladies and Gentlemen, Give it up for Puff Mommy.
Jack McFarland: You know, no one took me on vacation when I broke up with... what's his face, uh... bleached hair, tattoo, goatee, who am I talking about?
Karen Walker: God, I don't know honey. You just described a needle in a gaystack.
Will Truman: Allow me, to go hunt and gather for the womenfolk.
Grace Adler: Jack, don't you think it would be nice if you went with Will so that he didn't have to be alone?
Jack McFarland: [Reluctantly] OK.
Will Truman: Very well, I will hunt and gather with our womenfolk.
Karen Walker: Stan had to take his kids to Scarsdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute it'll come to me... "Stan, take the kids to see that bitch... Cathy!" Cathy.
Karen Walker: Grace, it's 11:30, Campbell gets off work in half an hour. Don't you wanna find out if he's "mm, mm, good?"
Grace Adler: I'm going to bed
Grace Adler: And by the way it looks like Dr. Zhivago threw up on you.
Jack: There's a gay bar approximately 5.38 miles north of here.
Jack: Cop at the toll booth.
Jack: [to Grace] I thought you were big foot's cousin, big hair.
[Will, Jack and Karen are playing scrabble]
Will: Spramp is not a word Jack.
Jack: Yes it is. "Every morning I spramp my face with water"