Jack: [to Will over the phone before Will comes out] Well, if you're wanting to make muskrat love with your girlfriend, why are you on the phone with me?
Jack: Yeah. I thought so. You're my new best friend; call me every five minutes!
Jack: [to Will, trying to get him to admit he's gay] You're Marvin Gay! And let me tell you, ain't no closet big enough!
Will: Hey, Rob, tell me, does my butt look huge in these jeans?
Rob: I don't know.
Will: No, seriously, am I shaped like a pear?
Rob: Dude, I'm a guy, I don't know. Just get some pants that fit and leave me alone.
Grace: [right after Will comes out] "Hindsight"? Is that one of your gay words?
Will: [after telling about how he and Grace got in a fight when he came out] Then we didn't talk for a year.
Karen: Yeah. Good times.
Karen: Well, you're all boring and I'm fun. I'd better get back to the kids. Smell ya later.
Grace: [when her mom tells her that Will can't sleep in her room] Mom! This isn't fair!
Bobbi Adler: Well neither is my cottage cheese ass!
Grace: Why is that your answer to everything?
Grace: [as Karen is showing her breasts to a woman] Karen, what are you doing?
Karen: She started it.
Grace: Karen, she's breast feeding.
Karen: Oh... That would explain the little bald man.
Bobbi Adler: Oh, and Will, always light matches in the bathroom after poopie-doops.
Jack: Yeah, guys our little Pammy's in a pickle, and, uh, shouldn't we help her find her way back to a place called hope?
Karen: Honey, she's wearing synthetic plaid. It's a four day drive and a boat trip to a place called Hope.