Jack McFarland: I bitch slapped the law and the law won.
Karen Walker: [Answering the phone] Grace Adler Designs.
Will Truman: [Into the phone] Hi, Karen.
Karen Walker: Grace, the reason you're not in a relationship is on line one.
[On seeing Jack in an orange jump suit and carrying a garbage bag]
Will: And they say Tinky Winky was the only gay Teletubby.
Will Truman: There's the fridge. Get a lemon and rub it on your head.
Grace Adler: I don't like the way she's so chummy with your husband.
Karen Walker: Please don't refer to him as my husband.
Grace Adler: All right, fine. I don't like how chummy she is with your non-romantic life partner.
Karen Walker: Also bad, so please stop, ok? I'm glad he has a new friend, especially since I'm so busy.
Grace Adler: Your sexless lover!
Val Bassett: Aww... I like that little bra that you're wearing.
Grace Adler: Aww... and I liked your split-pea soup.
Val Bassett: Well, thanks.
Grace Adler: I got a little taste when you shoved my face in the rug.
Will Truman: [Grace and Val are rolling on the floor, fighting] Once again, girl-on-girl action, and it's totally lost on me. Hey. Hey! Gabrielle, Xena, break it up!
[Will pulls the two girls apart]
Will Truman: What is going on?
Grace Adler: She started it.
Val Bassett: You did.
Grace Adler: Nuh-uh!
Will Truman: Ok, ok! "Nuh-uh" was just uttered by an adult. You're both taking a time-out. Go to your corners. Go on.
Val Bassett: [to Grace] Bitch.
Grace Adler: [to Val] Psycho!
Karen Walker: Honey, you know, whenever I get stressed out, I always like to...
Grace Adler: [pause] You always like to what?
Karen Walker: Gosh, I don't think I've ever been stressed out. I mean, why would I be? I got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze, and I got a killer rack! Good morning! Ha ha ha ha! Oh... Whoo!
Grace Adler: Aww... You know, when you just said that?
Karen Walker: Yeah?
Grace Adler: You got the cutest little wrinkles right there.
[Pointing to Karen's face]
Karen Walker: What? Where?
[Looks in mirror]
Grace Adler: You feel that? That's stress.
Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning.
[Grace and Val fight]
Will: Once again, girl on girl action, and its totally lost on me.