[a waiter sits Patti LuPone next to Jack]
Waiter: Ms. LuPone, I just want to say I saw you in "Evita" when I was sixteen. I came out by intermission.
Patti LuPone: [flattered] I hear that a lot. Sometimes, I think I'm personally responsible for the West Village.
Jack: Shut up, Patti LuPone! Shut your brassy, magnificent trap! I don't want to hear you sing! I don't want to cut your hair! And I *certainly* don't want to hear you singing while I cutting your hair! Got it? Now I'm talking to my best friend, so stand back, Buenos Aires!
Will Truman: [Jack takes Will out to a new club] Are you sure this is a gay club? Middle-aged women keep bumping into me, and this song is like 28 years old.
Jack: It's a straight club right now. It doesn't turn gay until 9:00.
Will Truman: Had a roommate in college who was the same way.