Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 513 (2003)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chip Esten : [in "Let's Make a Date"]  What is your motto you live by?

  Ryan Stiles : [his quirk is "Drew Carey - The Musical"]  My motto... it's more of a saying, actually. When I see people on the street, I have to say,

  [singing] 

  Ryan Stiles : "I'm the luckiest man in the world, / The luckiest man in the world! / My eyes are covered with glass, / And look at the size of my ass!"

  [imitates pressing the buzzer and doorbell] 

• Drew Carey : [at the end of "Let's Make a Date"]  Who was Ryan, before we say goodnight to Ryan?

  Chip Esten : I have no idea. No... Ryan is starring in...

  Drew Carey : [interrupting]  I don't either. That's correct. I don't know who the hell he is.

  [buzzing] 

  Drew Carey : That was a shame you couldn't get to guess that one.

  [the performers return to their seats] 

  Drew Carey : It was fine, I can take a joke just as good as anybody, so a thousand points to everybody,

  [Ryan mouths "But Ryan"] 

  Drew Carey : except for Ryan.

  Wayne Brady : What was the suggestion?

  Chip Esten : Yeah, I had no...

  Drew Carey : It was "Drew Carey: The Musical".

  Chip Esten : Oh.

  [nodding and smiling] 

  Chip Esten : I didn't hear, I didn't get that at all. That didn't...

  Wayne Brady : That wasn't funny at ALL.

  Ryan Stiles : I thought I was rather kind.

  Drew Carey : Huh?

  Ryan Stiles : I thought I was rather kind.

  Drew Carey : Well actually...

  Ryan Stiles : [interrupting]  Seeing how I got a LOT of stuff on ya.

  Drew Carey : [laughs]  Yeah, so like I said, five thousand points to my good buddy, Ryan Stiles!

  [audience cheers] 

  Drew Carey : Ryan Stiles! Man! What a kidder, man, we get along so well.

• Drew Carey : [after "Dubbing", where Ryan kissed the top of Colin's head so the audience member didn't have to]  Man, she was very horrified when she had to learn to... kiss Colin. "Uh, wha, I didn't really, can I go back to my seat?"

  Ryan Stiles : I said to Colin, I said to Colin, "Did you know that was me?" He goes, "Yeah." I go, "How did you know?" He goes, "I know your lips."

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of Rome]  You know, there's so many songs about Rome, must be four or five hundred.

  Colin Mochrie : That's right, that would be, like... CCCCC. In Roman numerals. There may be a "D" in there somewhere.

  Ryan Stiles : Hey, in Mexico, you're just saying "Yes yes yes yes"!

  Colin Mochrie : But we're not doing Mexico!

  Ryan Stiles : No we're not, we're doin' Rome, and we've assembled forty songs on thirty CDs, all about the city of Rome, the city of love. Is it?

  Colin Mochrie : It could be.

  Ryan Stiles : It is now.

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits"]  How many music styles can you name that are also food?

  Colin Mochrie : Oh...

  [pause] 

  Colin Mochrie : squash is the only thing that comes to mind.