- [Smith and Romack find Lord Hilary at the side of the road after a murderous stagecoach hold-up]
- Lord Hilary: There's been a bit of unpleasantness.
- Whispering Smith: Yes, I know. I'm Tom Smith, Denver police. This is my partner, George Romack
- Lord Hilary: I'm Alfred Hilary. So you're two bobbies, eh?
- George Romack: No, just plain lawmen. We're supposed to welcome you to Denver.
- Lord Hilary: Oh, no thank you. I've already had my welcome and if this be your welcome, I'd prefer your snub.
- Whispering Smith: Mr. Jeffers, Lord Alfred Hilary. Sam Jeffers, best editor west of the Mississippi.
- Lord Hilary: Every able editor is a ruler of the world.
- Sam Jeffers: And this is Whitey Bass, the best prospector - at least when it comes to locating free drinks.
- Sam Jeffers: And this is Mr. Carruthers, our newest citizen.
- Lord Hilary: Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.
- Bartender: All I've got is redeye.
- Lord Hilary: Ah, an American drink. That sounds jolly.
- Bartender: Say when, pardner.
- [George slowly fills Lord Hilary's glass with whiskey]
- Bartender: You'd better say when pretty quick or you're apt to get too jolly.
- [Lord Hilary waits until the glass is full before signaling the bartender to stop pouring]
- Lord Hilary: Thank you. Cheers!
- [Hilary downs the whiskey in one gulp]
- Lord Hilary: A little on the mild side.
- Sam Jeffers: Mild side? Why I use that whiskey to clean my printing presses with!
- Lord Hilary: Are you a resident of Denver, Mr. Dawson?
- Whispering Smith: He won't be if I ever catch him with an ace up his sleeve.
- Sam Jeffers: I'm sorry, your Lordship, but I think we'd better get over to the Opera House.
- Lord Hilary: Yes?
- Sam Jeffers: There's a big crowd waiting for the performance to begin.
- Lord Hilary: Yes, I suppose so. What's it you Americans say? "The show must go on!"
- Whispering Smith: You better follow them, George.
- George Romack: Aw, his lordship will be all right on the stage at the Opera House, Smitty. I'd like to find that fellow Carruthers.
- Whispering Smith: George, I think you're barking up the wrong tree.
- George Romack: Well, let me climb that tree and we'll find out.