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"The West Wing" The Leadership Breakfast (TV Episode 2001) Poster

Quotes

President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Who was the idiot who set off the smoke alarm last night?

Josh Lyman: Well, it sounds a lot like you're talking about Sam, Mr. President.

Sam Seaborn: Were you inconvenienced, sir?

President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: They had me on the Truman balcony for 6 minutes in my underwear.

Sam Seaborn: Was it cold?

President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: In January? No. Why do you ask?

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Sam Seaborn: In fact we were talking about the stability of former Soviet republics and their fear of Islamic extremism and I have to say that I made some very scholarly points regarding the remaining nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and I have to believe...

Josh Lyman: Kazakhstan.

Sam Seaborn: Hmm?

Josh Lyman: The nuclear weapons are in Kazakhstan.

Sam Seaborn: I said Kyrgyzstan?

Josh Lyman: Yeah.

Sam Seaborn: Yeah, well, Kyrgyzstan has no nuclear weapons.

Josh Lyman: No.

Sam Seaborn: Kazakhstan's a country four times the size of Texas and has a sizable number of former Russian missile silos.

Josh Lyman: Yeah.

Sam Seaborn: Kyrgyzstan's on the side of a hill near China and has mostly nomads and sheep.

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Josh Lyman: Donna?

Donna Moss: What was in the envelope?

Josh Lyman: Your underwear.

Donna Moss: What?

Josh Lyman: I'm holding your underwear in my hand right now. And the way I know it's your underwear is that your name is sewn in the back which, obviously, we'll spend some time talking about at a later date.

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President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Donna wants me to call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't hitting on her when she gave her her underwear.

Leo McGarry: Yeah. That's 'cause I made fun of her shoes and then Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix-up and accidentally left her underwear.

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Donna Moss: You're not using lighter fluid or anything, are you?

Josh Lyman: No, no flammable liquids of any kind to start a fire, ever.

Sam Seaborn: Found it.

Josh Lyman: What?

Sam Seaborn: Kerosene.

Donna Moss: Josh...

Josh Lyman: Go.

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Josh Lyman: Could you possibly get us some dried leaves?

Donna Moss: Yeah, I'll just run out to the forest and be right back.

Donna Moss: [Donna leaves room]

Sam Seaborn: You know what?

Josh Lyman: You think she was being sarcastic?

Sam Seaborn: Yeah. I don't think she's getting the leaves.

Josh Lyman: You know what we could use?

Sam Seaborn: Newspaper.

Josh Lyman: See, this is what I'm talking about. This is teamwork.

Sam Seaborn: It really is.

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Josh Lyman: How's this for a phrase? "You can lay down in front of the train or you can get on board."

Sam Seaborn: That's a really bad phrase.

Josh Lyman: Is it better if it's "You can get on board the train or you can lay down in front of it"?

Sam Seaborn: No. It's really bad either way.

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Donna Moss: Josh, this was delivered by messenger.

Josh Lyman: What is it?

Donna Moss: It's... wait, wait. No, damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today.

Josh Lyman: Gimme that!

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Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: [walking by Sam and Josh] Fred and Ethel, would you follow me, please?

Josh Lyman: [looks at Sam] She's talking about us.

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Charlie Young: [Sam and Josh have just set off the smoke alarms in the West Wing] Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you up unless the building was on fire?

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Leo McGarry: I keep meaning to fire you.

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Toby Ziegler: Leo, Ann Stark's a wartime consigliere. That's why she was bumped up.

Leo McGarry: I'm a wartime consigliere, too, Toby.

Toby Ziegler: Yeah.

Leo McGarry: I was just hoping it's be peacetime a little longer.

Toby Ziegler: Yeah.

Leo McGarry: Son of a bitch.

Toby Ziegler: Yeah.

Leo McGarry: Shake my hand.

[Toby and Leo shake hands]

Leo McGarry: We just formed it.

Toby Ziegler: Formed what?

Leo McGarry: The committee to re-elect the president.

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