- Charlie Young: [Sam and Josh have just set off the smoke alarms in the West Wing] Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you up unless the building was on fire?
- Josh Lyman: Donna?
- Donna Moss: What was in the envelope?
- Josh Lyman: Your underwear.
- Donna Moss: What?
- Josh Lyman: I'm holding your underwear in my hand right now. And the way I know it's your underwear is that your name is sewn in the back which, obviously, we'll spend some time talking about at a later date.
- Josh Lyman: Could you possibly get us some dried leaves?
- Donna Moss: Yeah, I'll just run out to the forest and be right back.
- Donna Moss: [Donna leaves room]
- Sam Seaborn: You know what?
- Josh Lyman: You think she was being sarcastic?
- Sam Seaborn: Yeah. I don't think she's getting the leaves.
- Josh Lyman: You know what we could use?
- Sam Seaborn: Newspaper.
- Josh Lyman: See, this is what I'm talking about. This is teamwork.
- Sam Seaborn: It really is.
- Toby Ziegler: Leo, Ann Stark's a wartime consigliere. That's why she was bumped up.
- Leo McGarry: I'm a wartime consigliere, too, Toby.
- Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
- Leo McGarry: I was just hoping it's be peacetime a little longer.
- Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
- Leo McGarry: Son of a bitch.
- Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
- Leo McGarry: Shake my hand.
- [Toby and Leo shake hands]
- Leo McGarry: We just formed it.
- Toby Ziegler: Formed what?
- Leo McGarry: The committee to re-elect the president.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Who was the idiot who set off the smoke alarm last night?
- Josh Lyman: Well, it sounds a lot like you're talking about Sam, Mr. President.
- Sam Seaborn: Were you inconvenienced, sir?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: They had me on the Truman balcony for 6 minutes in my underwear.
- Sam Seaborn: Was it cold?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: In January? No. Why do you ask?
- Leo McGarry: Alexander Hamilton didn't think we should have political parties. Neither did John Adams. They both thought political parties led to divisiveness.
- Toby Ziegler: They do. They should. We have honest disagreements, arguments are good.
- Leo McGarry: Only if they lead to statesmanship. Or it's... just... theater.
- Sam Seaborn: In fact we were talking about the stability of former Soviet republics and their fear of Islamic extremism and I have to say that I made some very scholarly points regarding the remaining nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and I have to believe...
- Josh Lyman: Kazakhstan.
- Sam Seaborn: Hmm?
- Josh Lyman: The nuclear weapons are in Kazakhstan.
- Sam Seaborn: I said Kyrgyzstan?
- Josh Lyman: Yeah.
- Sam Seaborn: Yeah, well, Kyrgyzstan has no nuclear weapons.
- Josh Lyman: No.
- Sam Seaborn: Kazakhstan's a country four times the size of Texas and has a sizable number of former Russian missile silos.
- Josh Lyman: Yeah.
- Sam Seaborn: Kyrgyzstan's on the side of a hill near China and has mostly nomads and sheep.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Donna wants me to call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't hitting on her when she gave her her underwear.
- Leo McGarry: Yeah. That's 'cause I made fun of her shoes and then Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix-up and accidentally left her underwear.
- Josh Lyman: How's this for a phrase? "You can lay down in front of the train or you can get on board."
- Sam Seaborn: That's a really bad phrase.
- Josh Lyman: Is it better if it's "You can get on board the train or you can lay down in front of it"?
- Sam Seaborn: No. It's really bad either way.
- Donna Moss: Josh, this was delivered by messenger.
- Josh Lyman: What is it?
- Donna Moss: It's... wait, wait. No, damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today.
- Josh Lyman: Gimme that!
- Toby Ziegler: They're coming for us, Leo.
- Leo McGarry: I know.
- Toby Ziegler: I mean they're coming for us now.
- Leo McGarry: Toby, if you knew what it was like getting him to run the first time.
- Toby Ziegler: I know.
- Leo McGarry: Like pushing molasses up a sandy hill.
- Donna Moss: You're not using lighter fluid or anything, are you?
- Josh Lyman: No, no flammable liquids of any kind to start a fire, ever.
- Sam Seaborn: Found it.
- Josh Lyman: What?
- Sam Seaborn: Kerosene.
- Donna Moss: Josh...
- Josh Lyman: Go.
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: [walking by Sam and Josh] Fred and Ethel, would you follow me, please?
- Josh Lyman: [looks at Sam] She's talking about us.