President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Why did you leave the White House?
Deborah Fiderer: Well, Mr. President, if you wanna talk about getting screwed with your pants on...
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Charlie!
Deborah Fiderer: ...I guess I... I got pretty... pretty well doinked.
President Josiah Bartlet: [to Governor Richie] In the future, if you're wondering: "Crime. Boy, I don't know," is when I decided to kick your ass.
Charlie Young: Before your next job interview with the President, I'm gonna remind you that you probably don't wanna be stoned.
Deborah Fiderer: There's gonna be a second interview?
Charlie Young: There's gonna be as many as it takes. We're gonna get this right.
Deborah Fiderer: Well, let me back you up a second. Have we done the first one yet?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: [Charlie has brought an obviously high woman to interview with the President] Is this a joke? If it's a joke, it's both funny and well-executed. But I think you and I both know that it's not.
Agent Simon Donovan: [holding a gun on a bank robber] Don't reach! I'm Secret Service. You know you'll never get there.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: The things we choose to care about.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Let me ask you something. Is there a crime, which if it wasn't illegal, you'd do?
Dr. Stanley Keyworth: I'd park anywhere I wanted to.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Right, but you wouldn't rob a bank?
Dr. Stanley Keyworth: No.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Connecticut had a law prohibiting the use of contraceptives. It was written out of rage against adultery. But in the age of AIDS, don't Connecticut residents do more for the general welfare by flagrantly breaking the law?
Dr. Stanley Keyworth: There was a law against... contraceptives?
Dr. Stanley Keyworth: Can I ask, sir, how somebody used to get caught?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: I'm standing in the middle of the President's security detail. What do you think's gonna happen to me?
Agent Simon Donovan: [Raising his voice] I don't know what's gonna happen to you. If I did, this would be easy!
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Well, maybe if we didn't shout so much.
Agent Simon Donovan: I have spent my adult life protecting people. You're the first person who's got me seriously thinking about switching sides!
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way. I think I've been a treat.
Agent Simon Donovan: Oh, yes you have. A little Easter treat just for me.
Sam Seaborn: He went to the Yankee game.
Toby Ziegler: Ritchie?
Sam Seaborn: Local news covered it. He said this is how ordinary Americans get their entertainment.
Toby Ziegler: I've been to 441 baseball games at Yankee Stadium. There's not a single person there who's ordinary.