Toby Ziegler: I don't know from where you get the idea that taxpayers shouldn't have to pay for anything of which they disapprove. Lots of 'em don't like tanks... even more don't like Congress.
Bruno Gianelli: These are direct mail leaflets. "Bartlet: Hopelessly Liberal." "Bartlet: Super-Liberal." "Bartlet: Liberal, Liberal, Liberal."
Sam Seaborn: These aren't coming from our side, right?
Oliver Babish: Nature, like a woman, will seduce you with its sights and its scents and its touch, and then it breaks your ankle, also like a woman.
Abbey Bartlet: What the hell kind of dates are you going on, Oliver?
Oliver Babish: I hear you.
Sam Seaborn: Why are you so bent on countering these idiot leaflets?
Bruno Gianelli: Because I'm tired of working for candidates who make me think that I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam! I'm tired of getting them elected! We all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said, "'Liberal' means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense, and we're gonna tax you back to the Stone Age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to!" And instead of saying, "Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave It To Beaver trip back to the Fifties...!", we cowered in the corner, and said, "Please. Don't. Hurt. Me." No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh? What do you say?
Tawny Cryer, Appropriations Committee: Sam, have you heard of Andrew Hawkins?
Sam Seaborn: No.
Tawny Cryer, Appropriations Committee: You funded his performance piece recently, which involved him destroying all his belongings outside a Starbucks in Haight-Ashbury.
Sam Seaborn: I've done that a couple of times... I didn't know there was funding available.
Tawny Cryer, Appropriations Committee: Here's a woman who gets naked, covers herself completely in chocolate, and sings. Does that appeal to you?
Toby Ziegler: By and large, I'm not wild about musicals.
C.J. Cregg: [singing as she crosses the room to Toby] I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my skirt, too sexy for the other things...
Toby Ziegler: What in God's name is...
C.J. Cregg: He got the question.
Toby Ziegler: Who?
C.J. Cregg: The Majority Leader.
Toby Ziegler: When?
C.J. Cregg: Last night. Local news, Cleveland, Ohio - oh me-o, oh my-o, oh Cleveland, Ohio! He got the question.
Bonnie: What's the question?
Toby Ziegler: "Why do you want to be president?"
Bonnie: And what did he say?
C.J. Cregg: [reading from a transcript of the interview] "The reason I would run, were I to run, is I have a great belief in this country as a country and in this people as a people that go into making this country a nation with the greatest natural resources and population of people, educated people."
C.J. Cregg: [makes a shotgun motion with her arms] Chk-chk, boom!
Toby Ziegler: I'll spread it around.
C.J. Cregg: [singing her way out of the room] I'm too sexy for my shoes, too sexy for the blues, too sexy...
C.J. Cregg: The majority leader got the question last night.
Josh Lyman: Yeah?
Josh Lyman: ... and just kept on diggin'.
Josh Lyman: [reading from transcript] "with the greatest technology of any people of any country in the world, along with the greatest, not the greatest, but very serious problems confronting our people, and I want to be President in order to focus on these problems in a way that uses the energy of our people to move us forward, basically."
C.J. Cregg: Yes.
Josh Lyman: It's the "basically" that makes it art.
Nancy McNally: Mr. President, submariners understand that if they sink it won't be a rescue, it'll be a recovery. They measure risk and rewards not just in terms of their own lives, but in terms of national interest.
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: Well, that's great. I assess the national interest by the number of people alive, not dead.
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: Hey, Bruno, can you devise a campaign strategy that involves beating the crap out of Leo?
Oliver Babish: Truth isn't a luxury. You're going to go in there. You're going to swear an oath. You're going to get asked questions. You're going to tell the truth. It's the way you stand up and say, "Stop!"