C.J. Cregg: Everybody's stupid in an election year, Charlie.
Charlie Young: No, everybody gets treated stupid in an election year, C.J.
Leo McGarry: The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee has a...
Josh Lyman: There's a Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee?
Leo McGarry: Yes.
Josh Lyman: Made up of members of the "There But For the Grace of God Go I" club.
Leo McGarry: You wanna mock people or you wanna let me talk to Toby?
Josh Lyman: I wanna mock people.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Yes, God forbid that while talking to 60,000 public school students the President should appear smart.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: That's fine. Just don't show off.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I don't show off. Stevie, 4th grader, P.S. 31 Manhattan, asks, "What is the temperature on Mars?" Well Stevie, if one of our expert panelists were here, they would tell you the average temperature ranges from 15 degrees to minus 140.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: That happens to be wrong. It ranges from 60 to minus 225.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I converted it to Celsius in my head.
Leo McGarry: What are you smiling at?
Josh Lyman: Nothing, I just... Toby got the stamp assignment.
Toby Ziegler: Leo, I might need some help.
Leo McGarry: Take Josh.
Toby Ziegler: Thanks. Congratulations, you're choosing the next stamp.
Josh Lyman: Wow, that happened fast.
Sam Seaborn: There are a lot of hungry people in the world, Mal, and none of them are hungry 'cause we went to the moon. None of them are colder and certainly none of them are dumber 'cause we went to the moon.
Mallory O'Brian: And we went to the moon. Do we really have to go to Mars?
Sam Seaborn: Yes.
Mallory O'Brian: Why?
Sam Seaborn: 'Cause it's next. 'Cause we came out of the cave, and we looked over the hill and we saw fire; and we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the west, and we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration and this is what's next.
Sam Seaborn: Who's your boyfriend?
Mallory O'Brian: I don't think...
Sam Seaborn: What's his name?
Mallory O'Brian: His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
Sam Seaborn: There's a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.
Mallory O'Brian: Well, unless there are two of them...
Sam Seaborn: You're dating Richard Andrewchuk?
Mallory O'Brian: Yes, and we're having quite a lot of sex.
Sam Seaborn: I think you'd almost have to.
Mallory O'Brian: What does that mean?
Sam Seaborn: What the hell do you and Richard Andrewchuk talk about?
Mallory O'Brian: He happens to be a terribly bright guy.
Sam Seaborn: Well, good, because he's a really bad hockey player.
Mallory O'Brian: He's had injury problems this season.
Sam Seaborn: From falling down.
Josh Lyman: Leo, ask me how long a Martian day is.
Leo McGarry: No, I don't think I will.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Where's Sam?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: He's inside hiding from Mallory.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Why is he hiding from Mallory?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Do you really wanna know?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Not at all.
Sam Seaborn: Oh, like there aren't any pictures of you and a call girl?
Mallory O'Brien: No. There aren't any pictures of me and a call girl.
Sam Seaborn: Well, that's a crime.
C.J. Cregg: We have at our disposal a captive audience of schoolchildren. Some of them don't go to the blackboard or raise their hand 'cause they think they're going to be wrong. I think you should say to these kids, "You think you get it wrong sometimes, you should come down here and see how the big boys do it." I think you should tell them you haven't given up hope and that it may turn up, but, in the meantime, you want NASA to put its best people in a room and you want them to start building Galileo 6. Some of them will laugh and most of them won't care but for some, they might honestly see that it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand. And that's the broader theme.
C.J. Cregg: Sam.
Sam Seaborn: Yeah?
C.J. Cregg: The President wants us to go to the concert tonight so we can discuss broader themes for the televised classroom.
Sam Seaborn: Great.
C.J. Cregg: Great?
Sam Seaborn: It should be about more than rocks and average rainfall.
C.J. Cregg: Oh, God, does it rain on Mars?
Sam Seaborn: No, but I'm saying...
C.J. Cregg: The White House should develop a broader theme.
Sam Seaborn: That's right. And I think it's incredible the President's asked the two of us. It's a privilege. And we should attack with energy due the moment...
C.J. Cregg: Mallory's gonna be there.
Sam Seaborn: I can't go.
C.J. Cregg: They said modern music. I thought, you know, that meant Jackson Browne.
Charlie Young: Jackson Browne is modern?
C.J. Cregg: [sighs] He used to be.
C.J. Cregg: This time of year, is the water in the Potomac very, very cold?
Toby Ziegler: Yeah, but if you rub chicken fat all over yourself, it'll insulate.
President Josiah Bartlet: [to the Russian ambassador] Your paranoia was a lot sexier back when you guys were communists, Nadia.
C.J. Cregg: So that leaves us with the televised classroom, the green beans...
Josh Lyman: [under his breath] The stamp.
C.J. Cregg: ...the stamp, and - depending on who those people were that were standing near me - the possibility of a story about me being good in bed.
Toby Ziegler: Good in bed.
C.J. Cregg: Yes.
Toby Ziegler: Why?
C.J. Cregg: [emphatically] Because I am.
Toby Ziegler: Okay.
[Of the Mars probe ship Galileo]
Toby Ziegler: They know it was on course traveling at a rate of 15,400 miles per hour, which it was supposed to. Somewhere during its descent it was also supposed to release two probes - each about the size of a basketball - firing them deep into the ground as part of the mission's search for evidence of water under surface.
Josh Lyman: We think if we hit the ground hard enough, we can make it to the center of the planet and find water?
Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
Josh Lyman: That's not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E. Coyote?