Toby Ziegler: ...if you combine the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark and Australia, you'll get a population roughly the size of the United States. We had 32,000 gun deaths last year, they had 112. Do you think it's because Americans are more homicidal by nature? Or do you think it's because those guys have gun control laws?
Sam Seaborn: Where'd you get the bathrobe?
Carol Fitzpatrick: The gym.
Sam Seaborn: There are bathrobes at the gym?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: In the women's locker room.
Sam Seaborn: But not the men's.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Yeah.
Sam Seaborn: Now, that's outrageous. There's a thousand men working here and 50 women.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Yeah, and it's the *bathrobes* that's outrageous.
Sam Seaborn: And please don't forget you're a blonde, Republican girl, and that nobody likes you.
Ainsley Hayes: I'm going back on television right now.
Sam Seaborn: Try and remember you're on our side.
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: President Josiah Bartlet
[upon meeting Ainsley for the first time in her office, there is loud music playing]
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: What's up?
Ainsley Hayes: Ainsley Hayes:
[wearing a robe, throws her drink across the room]
Ainsley Hayes: Oh, Mr. President!
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: President Josiah Bartlet: I never even knew we had a night club down here.
Ainsley Hayes: Ainsley Hayes: Oh, my gosh!
Sam Seaborn: Sam Seaborn: Mr. President, I don't believe you have met Ainsley Hayes.
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah Ainsley, I wanted to say hello, and to mention, you know, uh, a lot of people assumed you were hired because you were a blonde Republican sex kitten, and well they're obviously wrong. Keep up the good work.
Mark Gottfried: C.J.'s not wearing any pants.
Mark Gottfried: No pants whatsoever.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: It's cable!
Charlie Young: Ma'am, I'd like you to bear in mind that I'm not wearing pads or a helmet, or contact gear of any kind.
Toby Ziegler: In fact, it doesn't say that at all. The only way it says that is if you remove some words from it.
Sam Seaborn: You need anything?
Josh Lyman: A lightning bolt, a key, and a kite.
Josh Lyman: Joey? Can I ask you what may be a silly question?
Joey Lucas: Sure.
Josh Lyman: It's not possible, is it, for us to just open up one of these computers with a screwdriver and get the numbers that are in there, right?
Joey Lucas: Why did you think that'd be a silly question?
Abbey Bartlet: You kicked off your re-election campaign and I'm sitting here eating a sandwich 'cause we had a deal.
Abbey Bartlet: I don't want to be pissed at anyone, but thanks for asking. And I don't need to be told who the architect of tonight's speech was.
Ainsley Hayes: I'm an associate counsel. The Chinese food guy's got more access than I do.
Mark Gottfried: And yet they have you out here speaking for the White House.
Ainsley Hayes: Yeah. It's a really big night for me!
Dolores Landingham: When the President inquires into the First Lady's bookkeeping, the First Lady gets angry with him and yells.
Charlie Young: Well, she's going to get angry and yell when I inquire into it, too.
Dolores Landingham: Well, the President doesn't care so much about that.
Charlie Young: Yeah.
Charlie Young: Okay.
Charlie Young: This is a good job.
Dolores Landingham: I saw you on TV.
Charlie Young: Cool.
Donna Moss: You have to ask a girl out on a date. You can't just randomly tumble into a girl sideways and hope she breaks up with you soon, the way you always do.
Josh Lyman: Why not?
Donna Moss: Because you can't!
Josh Lyman: You just said I always do.
Donna Moss: Josh, I can help you or I can not help you. It's up to you.
Josh Lyman: Then I absolutely choose not helping me.
Donna Moss: You want me to ask her out for you?
Josh Lyman: Yeah. That's exactly what I want you to do.
Donna Moss: [Joey walks in] Joey...
Josh Lyman: Sit down.
Sam Seaborn: How have you never met the President?
Ainsley Hayes: I haven't.
Sam Seaborn: You've been working here three months.
Ainsley Hayes: He works in the Oval Office and I work in the Steam Pipe Trunk Distribution Venue. I can't believe we haven't run into each other.