Stephanie Cole: Diana Trent

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Diana : I will kill Harvey Bains.

  Jane : Diana!

  Tom : Look on the bright side. Rain is very good for the skin. In a couple of hours, I'll have a face like a baby's bottom.

  Diana : I'll do it slowly.

  Tom : I'm sure there must be a positive side to pneumonia.

  Diana : I'll cut off his ears first. I never liked his ears.

  Jane : The rain is not Harvey's fault.

  Diana : Yes, of course it is. Everything is Harvey's fault! Mainly the bloody Bayview bus is Harvey's fault.

  Jane : Buses break down occasionally.

  Diana : Especially when they're a hundred years old, never serviced, and driven by Portuguese gardeners who sacrifice sheep in them.

  Jane : He, he does not, Diana. You do exaggerate.

• [last lines] 

  Diana : Right, you lot. Now, you may think I shall be falling off my perch one day soon, and I'm sure that one day that joyous occasion may come to pass. But have no fear; let me introduce you to my great-niece, the next Diana, the new Diana, the Diana of the future, who will, I trust, carry the torch of stubborn bloody-mindedness, murder and mayhem well into the next century. I give you... Diana.

  Harvey Bains : Not another one.

  Diana : Come on then, Tom.

  Tom : OK, everybody, gather round. Come on. All right everyone.

  Diana : All right then, Geoffrey.

  Tom : Smile!

  Diana : [Baby Diana cries a bit]  Shut up, Diana.