- Andy Travis: Your mother just hired a consultant to look at our operation.
- Arthur Carlson: [whistling in exclamation] When?
- Andy Travis: He's here now.
- Arthur Carlson: [pointing to the ground] Here? Right here?
- Andy Travis: No, not in the station. He's here in town.
- Arthur Carlson: Well then, don't panic. I know what to do about this. Next week, I'll just take a little vacation, take Herb and Les with me, maybe Johnny too - you can never tell what he's going to do.
- Andy Travis: Wait a minute. You just can't clear out the station.
- Arthur Carlson: [adamantly] Why not? Bring him here, introduce him to Jennifer, she'll wink at him a couple of times, and he goes home.
- Andy Travis: Listen, what if *he* is a *she*.
- Arthur Carlson: Well then you wink at him.
- Lillian Carlson: [after Andy leaves, Mrs. Carlson tastes her coffee, and is pleasantly surprised] Why Hirsch, this coffee's delicious!
- Hirsch: Uh-hm. That's because we were having a guest, Madam. When it's just you and me, I prepare it a little differently.
- Lillian Carlson: [to Andy after Breeze has left the room, knowingly about how he sabotaged Breeze] You are a very, very bad boy.
- Andy Travis: Well, you know, it's kinda hard to get to know people in one day. I remember...
- Lillian Carlson: [interrupting] THAT'S enough. Hirsch!
- Hirsch: Yes, madam?
- Lillian Carlson: You've been eavesdropping.
- Hirsch: Oh no, madam... very handy, as usual.
- Lillian Carlson: Kindly escort Mr. Travis to the door, and watch him very carefully. Make sure he doesn't steal the doorbell!
- Hirsch: [wearily] Yes, madam.
- Andy Travis: [as he's leaving] Gonna need some more money!
- Lillian Carlson: Out.
- Andy Travis: Kind of overspent on the lobby...
- Lillian Carlson: Out!
- Andy Travis: We'll talk later.
- Lillian Carlson: GO!
- Andy Travis: Mrs. Carlson, why don't you just leave it to me. Trust me.
- Lillian Carlson: Oh impossible, Mr. Travis. While I do have a certain amount of confidence in you, I trust no one but my own son, and I always trust him to do the wrong thing. Unless of course the subject is fish - show my son a mackerel and his mind becomes a computer.
- [Hirsch has only been gone a few minutes when he has returned with the requested coffee]
- Lillian Carlson: [sternly] Where have you been?
- Hirsch: [laughing under his breath] Mardi Gras, Madam.
- Andy Travis: And this is the bullpen, as we call it. That's Bailey Quarters here...
- [Bailey sits casually toying with page torn out from notepad, sailing it through the air]
- Andy Travis: She's in charge of traffic, continuity and some news reporting.
- Norris Breeze: [unimpressed] Mm. Hello.
- Bailey Quarters: [like big overgrown kid] Hey.
- Andy Travis: Let's see what Les Nessman is up to.
- Les Nessman: [busy on phone] Well, Ben Bradley at The Washington Post is a good man. Oh, sure, he makes mistakes, but he's a good man. Uh-huh?
- Norris Breeze: [as Bailey does fly-past with page as imaginary paper airplane] She does traffic and continuity?
- Andy Travis: Uh, yeah. Les will be off the phone in just a minute.
- Norris Breeze: I'd like to speak with her.
- Andy Travis: Okay... . She's really kind of shy.
- Norris Breeze: [insists] I'd like to speak to her.
- Andy Travis: Okay.
- [ready to assist]
- Norris Breeze: Alone.
- [Andy leaves reluctantly]
- Norris Breeze: Hi.
- Bailey Quarters: [big goofy smile, gives peace sign, total hippie chick] Hi.
- [nods]
- Norris Breeze: Do you enjoy your work here?
- Bailey Quarters: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [looks away shyly]
- Norris Breeze: You, uh, ever do any drugs?
- Bailey Quarters: [wide-eyed look, smiles in conspirational way] When?
- Norris Breeze: Like, on the job.
- Bailey Quarters: Sit down, I wanna tell you something.
- Norris Breeze: [sits down, but she's suddenly a silent statue, zoned out] What?
- Bailey Quarters: What what?
- Norris Breeze: You were gonna tell me something.
- Bailey Quarters: [chuckles] I don't think so.
- [big smile]
- Norris Breeze: You control the paperwork at the station?
- Bailey Quarters: Oh, yeah. If you have any paper you just bring it to me. I would also love some M&M's.
- Les Nessman: [gets up from phone] Mr. Breeze... Les Nessman. I understand you find my news reports unusual. Humorous. Thank you very much.
- [firm, hearty handshake exchanged]
- Les Nessman: It's a rock station, so I enjoy kidding around. Unless it's hard news. Then, of course, I go for it.
- [is the big Nessman, busy, busy, busy:]
- Les Nessman: Excuse me.
- [off on assignment...]
- Bailey Quarters: [sings jingle] N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestle's makes the very best... chocolate!
- [with hands, mimics big crocodile-like mouth snapping shut, then chuckles]
- Bailey Quarters: Farfel. Remember that guy? The dog!
- [Norris Breeze nods, then walks out]
- Lillian Carlson: HIRSCH! One dry vodka martini... stirred, not shaken.
- [beat]
- Lillian Carlson: Served in a peanut butter glass!
- Hirsch: Yes, your majesty!