- Bailey Quarters: [entering the bullpen with Johnny] Hi, Sparky. I'm Bailey.
- Sparky Anderson: Hi, Bailey.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Hi, Sparky. I'm Johnny. Buzzy, Binky and Cubby'll be along any moment.
- Venus Flytrap: [to Sparky Anderson about his baseball playing days] Boy, I worked like a dog. Never did get a break. Never got an offer from the Big Leagues. How do you figure that?
- Derek Doogle: I guess you stunk, mate.
- Venus Flytrap: [sarcastically] I never thought about it that way.
- Herb Tarlek: [demonstrating to Mr. Carlson his concept for a sports trivia show] Who was the, uh, shortstop for the '58 Milwaukee Braves?
- Jennifer Marlowe: [walking into the room] Johnny Logan.
- Herb Tarlek: Pretty good for a chick. How'd you know that, Gorgeous?
- Jennifer Marlowe: Simple. I study trivia. That's why I know everything there is to know about you, Herb.
- Arthur Carlson: Where's Herb?
- Jennifer Marlowe: He called.
- Arthur Carlson: What did he want?
- Jennifer Marlowe: Oh, it's just too embarrassing. I'd rather not say.
- Sparky Anderson: [on the air] Welcome to The Bullpen, brought to you by Sun Lux Petroleum, makers of gasoline, heating oil, and a crude but very hearty wine.
- Andy Travis: [disappointedly] I hate looking like a bad guy.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Hey, you never *look* bad.
- Andy Travis: [self-assuredly] I know.
- Jennifer Marlowe: [no answer from Les] He can't hear you. His door is shut. He's Les Nessman and I'm Jennifer Marlowe.
- Sparky Anderson: [they shake hands] Sparky Anderson.
- Jennifer Marlowe: [purrs] I know. I just adore you. I went to every Red's home game until you left.
- Sparky Anderson: Box One Ten, Row Six C...
- Jennifer Marlowe: [big smile] That's my seat. How amazing!
- [chuckles]
- Sparky Anderson: [smiling] I almost broke my neck trying to see you.