WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Jennifer and the Will (1981)

Pat O'Brien: Col. H. Buchanan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Col. H. Buchanan : [reading his will in the video]  To my brother Cedric I leave... nothing, because he's always been an all or nothing kind of fellow and since he can't have it all he gets nothing. Oh, I've paid his bills for the last forty years and the free ride on the Buchanan gravy train is over. Did you save anything, Cedric?

  Cedric Buchanan : No.

  Col. H. Buchanan : Nooo. No, I didn't think so. To my sister Cloris, I leave... nothing. Same reason. To my brother Chester, I'd like to leave less than nothing, but that dumb lawyer of mine, he can't figure out how to do that. And to my nephew, ooo, Skip, who's always bragging about his van, to him I leave some advice: get a car people can see around on the highway you're blocking everybody's vision, you...

  [Skip gives a sheepish look] 

  Col. H. Buchanan : Now, for Jennifer Marlowe, to her I leave exactly one dollar. She asked me not to leave her anything, but this happens to be the first dollar I ever earned. So there is a sentimental attachment. I love you darling. You're a good soldier.

  [Jennifer blows a kiss toward the video screen showing the Colonel] 

  Col. H. Buchanan : And now, all the rest of my estate, every damn cent of it, goes to the Hare Krishnas, and if they promise to stay out of the airports.