WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Goodbye Johnny (1979)

Gordon Jump: Arthur Carlson

Quotes 

• Arthur Carlson : Morning, Bailey.

  Bailey Quarters : Mr. Carlson, *Herb* is crazy.

  Arthur Carlson : Yes. Go on.

  Herb Tarlek : [as Bailey tries explaining]  No, wait! Wait a minute! Hold on! Now, no offense, Bailey, but part of your job around here is writing commercials, but you don't do a very good job.

  Bailey Quarters : [folding arms, impatiently]  How so?

  Herb Tarlek : All righty. Don't get upset. I know you're a... journalism school graduate, but you don't know how to put the bite in the old sales message.

  Bailey Quarters : [impatiently]  For example?

  Herb Tarlek : [sneering]  For example, this copy from the North Mall Pet Village. Get a load of this, Big Guy. "Wouldn't you like to come home to a cuddly warm little companion like a cocker spaniel?"

  Arthur Carlson : [grinning warmly]  What's wrong with that? I like it.

  Herb Tarlek : Big Guy, they're selling dogs left and right down there. What we gotta do, is move the merchandise that's piling up in the back.

  Arthur Carlson : I see.

  Bailey Quarters : For example, Herb?

  Herb Tarlek : For example, Bailey, this is the way you write one of these things. "*Big* *Snake* *Sale*. Ssssave, ssssave, ssssave. Pick and choosssse, mix and match, everything'ssss marked down. These marvelous petssss are quiet, are fine. Rid your home of pesky rodentssss and unwanted baby chickssss. Sssstartle your friendssss today."

• Venus Flytrap : Do you dudes know about Johnny?

  Arthur Carlson : Yeah, we were just having a dudes' conference over that very subject.

• Andy Travis : [Andy is trying to tell Mr. Carlson about Johnny's job offer at an LA radio station]  Mr. Carlson, we have got *big* trouble.

  Arthur Carlson : Uh oh, Mother's on her way. Oh, here's what we're going to do. I spew out all knowledge, you do most of the talking...

  Andy Travis : It is not Mama. It is *worse* than Mama.

  Arthur Carlson : Worse? What could be worse than Mama?

• Arthur Carlson : [in a drunken stupor]  There I was, you, see, at Guadalcanal... or maybe it was Mindanao. I don't know, but the Japanese were all over the place.

  Jennifer Marlowe : Were you on vacation?