The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Happy New Year (2005)

Dawn French: Geraldine Granger

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Alice and Hugo arrive at the vicarage, the latter wearing a kilt] 

  Alice Horton : Sorry the dating was a total disaster. So we've come up with an alternative present.

  Geraldine Granger : What, we're going to dance reels, are we?

  [laughs] 

  Hugo Horton : [Chuckles]  No.

  Alice Horton : No. We thought you might like a baby. And since you can't get a man to give you one, we thought maybe Hugo could help you out.

  [Geraldine gapes] 

  Alice Horton : he's already given me eight children.

  Hugo Horton : Ten.

  Alice Horton : Ten children. So I can guarantee he is top quality stuff.

  Geraldine Granger : [Uncertainly]  Right.

  Alice Horton : Although obviously, there is nothing sexual about it. Hugo doesn't find you remotely attractive.

  Geraldine Granger : Thanks, that's... nice to know.

• Geraldine Granger : Owen.

  Owen Newitt : Your royal babeness.

  Geraldine Granger : What in hell's hell are you doing here?

  Owen Newitt : It sounded like my cup of tea. Lots of desperate women looking for love in a confined area.

• Geraldine Granger : Actually, think about that, David. That's 30 times the population of this village every day. Everyone in this village, dead.

  David Horton : You're not telling me that's a bad thing?

  Geraldine Granger : Point taken, but...

  David Horton : Owen dead, Jim dead, my daughter-in-law tragically struck down.

• Suzie : It's the dog collar. Are you sure it's a good idea?

  Geraldine Granger : Sorry?

  Suzie : It's just you and I know that under that collar is a neck that wants to be kissed, then sucked 'till there's a blazing hickey the size of Middlesex. But your normal chap might see it as a bit of a stop sign.

• Geraldine Granger : Jim!

  Jim Trott : Yes.

  Geraldine Granger : What the hell are you doing here?

  Jim Trott : Well, I thought it sounded rather fun. It certainly has been so far. That other girl, she's a bit tasty.

  Geraldine Granger : Well, yes, she's a bit all blonde and boobs and no brains though, don't you think? I mean, there are lots of men who don't go for that sort of shallow stuff.

  Jim Trott : No no no, there aren't.