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Marci: Oh, hey, who's that?

Ashley Burke: Carrie? Oh, she's just...

Mary-Kate Burke: Another one of dad's girlfriends!

Marci: Oh... your dad has other girlfriends?

Ashley Burke: Yeah, but don't worry. I think he likes you the best.

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[trying to drive Marci away]

Marci: So... your sister's not feelin' too well, huh?

Mary-Kate Burke: Who cares? Ashley's always sick. She loves the attention. She's dad's favorite, you know?

Marci: Oh, I bet that's not true.

Mary-Kate Burke: Oh, believe me! He's always running out to get stuff for her. But he won't even pick me up a pack of cigarettes. You don't have a smoke on you, do you?

Marci: Me... uh... no, I don't. I don't smoke. And I don't think that you should either.

Mary-Kate Burke: Tell me about it. I'm thinking of getting the patch.

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Kevin Burke: Where are you going?

Marci: Home. Just met Carrie.

Kevin Burke: Oh, Carrie's here?

Marci: Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!

Kevin Burke: Did she say something to offend you?

Marci: What offends me is that you never mentioned her.

Kevin Burke: Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, I took out an ad and Carrie. I mean it was just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.

Marci: She's your student?

Kevin Burke: Yeah, and whenever she's too busy with her studies I call Mrs. Baker.

Marci: Who's Mrs. Baker?

Kevin Burke: My, my neighbor from across the street. Of course, she 72, so she's not as much fun as Carrie, but she still gets the job done.

Marci: [Gaping] Oh! This is the most depraved thing I've ever heard.

Kevin Burke: I'm sorry, what?

Marci: Well, it's bad enough you're juggling more than on woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen it like... Oh, oh, oh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way, I did not make.

[goes to leave]

Kevin Burke: What are you talking about? Carrie is the girls' babysitter.

Marci: She's a babysitter? Your daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.

Kevin Burke: Which daughter?

Marci: I don't know. The one who smokes.

Kevin Burke: [Looking very confused] Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Why don't you stay here? Uh, I'll be right back.

Marci: I made part of it.

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Kevin Burke: Where are you going?

Marci: Home, just met Carrie.

Kevin Burke: Oh, Carrie's here?

Marci: Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!

Kevin Burke: Did she say something to offend you?

Marci: What offends me is that you never mentioned her.

Kevin Burke: Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, Carrie was there, so I hired her. I mean it's just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.

Marci: She's your student?

Marci: Yeah, and whenever she's busy with her studies, I call Mrs. Baker.

Marci: Who's Mrs. Baker?

Marci: My - My neighbor. Of course she's 72, so she's not as fun as Carrie but she still gets the job done.

Marci: [Gaping] Oh, this is the most depraved thing I ever heard!

Kevin Burke: I'm sorry, what?

Marci: Well, it's bad enough that you're juggling more than one woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen. It's like uh, uh, uh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way I did not make.

Kevin Burke: What are you talking about? Carrie's the girls' babysittter.

Marci: She's their babysitter? You're daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.

Kevin Burke: Which daughter?

Marci: I don't know, the one that smokes.

Kevin Burke: [Looking confused] Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Here, why don't sit down.

[Marci sits on the couch]

Kevin Burke: Uh, I'll be right back.

Marci: I made part of it.

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Carrie: Oh, hi, you just missed Marci.

Ashley Burke: Yeah, she left in kind of a hurry.

Kevin Burke: Actually, she's still downstairs.

Ashley Burke: Uh-oh.

Mary-Kate Burke: I think I'm catching what Ashley's got.

Carrie: What's going on?

Kevin Burke: Well, first of all, Ashley's not sick and these two told Marci that you were my girlfriend.

Carrie: What? Why would you do that?

Ashley Burke: Well, we were trying to break Dad and Marci up.

Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, Carrie, we don't want to lose you.

Kevin Burke: Why would you lose Carrie?

Mary-Kate Burke: Because she said if things kept with between you and Marci, she'd be out of a job.

Carrie: Well, that was a joke. I didn't mean that.

Ashley Burke: Well, we thought you did and we liked the way things are.

Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, you're the best babysitter we've ever had.

Ashley Burke: You're like family.

Carrie: So you would lie to that poor woman just to keep me around? That is so sweet.

[sobers after Kevin gives her a look]

Carrie: I mean it's wrong. Of course. But it's still very sweet. I ...

Kevin Burke: Carrie?

Carrie: Oh, why don't I give you guys some privacy. Oh!

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Carrie: Wow, Kevin's really hitting it off with Marci.

[jokingly]

Carrie: If this keeps up I might be out of a job!

[leaves the room]

Mary-Kate Burke: [thinks Carrie is serious about losing her babysitting job] We can't lose Carrie! She's like having a big sister!

Brian: And she's real easy on the eyes, too!

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