Two and a Half Men: Season 1, Episode 4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap (13 Oct. 2003)

TV Episode  -   -  Comedy
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As Charlie tries to write a new jingle, Berta quits. Alan tries to convince her to come back. Leaving Charlie to get Jake ready for a dinner. And Rose tries to get Charlie's help to prepare for a date.



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Title: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap (13 Oct 2003)

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap (13 Oct 2003) on IMDb 8.1/10

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Episode cast overview:
Steven Tyler (voice)


While Charlie tries to write a chocolate jingle, his maid Bertha quits, tired of caring for three Harpers and Alan's perfectionist suggestions. Alan offers to do the domestic chores instead, but finds spoiled Charlie can't be pleased, nor tell exactly what he wants. So Charlie is left trying to prepare Jake for a visit to ma Judith, bathed and dressed, while Alan begs Bertha to return at rock-star Steven Tyler's place, her other client, offering free massage by the chiropractor. Rose presses Charlie to help her prepare for a date with Randy, or is that Andy, or a fictitious boyfriend? Written by KGF Vissers

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Release Date:

13 October 2003 (USA)  »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?


Berta was originally only to appear in this episode but everyone loved the character, so she became a rucurring guest for the season and a series regular starting with season two. See more »


Charlie: You still have grease in your hair. Didn't you wash it?
Jake: You didn't say to wash my hair.
Charlie: Wash your hair!
[Jake goes into the bathroom]
Rose: You didn't tell him to rinse.
Charlie: Good, that's good. Thank you. Jake! *Rinse*!
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Two and a Half Men Theme
Written by Chuck Lorre
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User Reviews

Charlie is high maintenance, but he's no good with doing maintenance himself
11 November 2013 | by (victoria b.c canada) – See all my reviews

Charlie is trying to write a new jingle, but Berta abruptly quits. Alan makes matters worse, by criticizing her about putting peanut butter in the fridge. Alan feels badly, and offers to replace Berta, since Charlie was kind enough to let he & Jake stay with him (Charlie) Charlie doesn't like Alan's version of cleanliness, so Alan tries to track down Berta, and get her back, leaving Charlie to try and get Jake ready for dinner with Judith, but that doesn't end up well for poor Charlie. I know this was still in the early stages of the show, but this one is one of my favorites. It's hilarious from beginning to end, with many memorable moments. One of the funniest moments, includes Alan trying to pull Charlie's dirty socks off his feet, thinking Charlie's asleep, but Charlie fools him, and purposely kicks Alan in the face. It also continues the development of the dysfunctional relationship between Charlie & Rose. Rose is so innocent and cute, I can't help but lover her, and Charlie's disdained reactions are priceless, even though he acts like he's trying to help her. It's also the first time I've ever seen peanut butter look like a drink, thanks to Jake. Fans of Areosmith will enjoy hearing Steven Tyler's voice as well. The message here is that you should always appreciate all the help you can get, and not get greedy. I hadn't seen this one in a long time, so it was great to see it again


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