Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)
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Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 

It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.

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(created by), (created by) | 4 more credits »

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Storyline

Alan pays his ex Judith such generous alimony, which he can barely afford, that she can go on holiday to Hawaii for a week and dump their son Jake on him, barely announced. As usual the Harper brothers grin and bear their cross Jake as good as they can, which isn't quit good enough, for one thing because the boy is not too helpful and hopelessly forgetful, reason enough for maid Berta to award herself a permanent raise. The brothers aren't much better: they manage to forget picking up Jake at school, once each, Alan because his workload kills him, then Charlie because he has to bring Jake to school while Alan desperately tries to convince the IRS he pays Judith about every cent he earns; of course everything goes wrong too... Written by KGF Vissers

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Genres:

Comedy

Certificate:

TV-14 | See all certifications »
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Release Date:

14 February 2005 (USA)  »

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1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Judith only appears in one scene for about 3 seconds. See more »

Quotes

[first lines]
Alan Harper: [shouting on the phone] Do you just get up in the morning, and figure out ways to make me crazy? Is that what you do? You-you plot it out? "How can I make Alan miserable today? How can I reach into his chest, *rip* out his heart, and suck it dry?"
Charlie Harper: Mom, or ex-wife?
Alan Harper: [hand over phone] Ex-wife.
Charlie Harper: Hi Judith!
Alan Harper: Charlie says "Hello".
Alan Harper: She says "Hi".
[shouting again]
Alan Harper: You're evil and selfish! You know that?... No... no, no, I - I think that *is* a helpful comment! I pay you alimony, and child ...
[...]
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Soundtracks

Two and a Half Men
credited
Written by Grant Geissman, Lee Aronsohn, and Chuck Lorre
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