Albert Rosenfield: I've performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed... let's see, beer cans, a Maryland licence plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat, and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio.
Dale Cooper: You're making a joke!
Albert Rosenfield: I like to think of myself as one of the happy generation.
Deputy Andy Brennan: Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied. It's my civic duty and I like whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile. Sure I thought it meant that I didn't have to take a bath, but the doctors told me the truth. They told me I can't have babies. So what I wanna know now is why are you having one and how?
Dale Cooper: Who shot me Albert?
Albert Rosenfield: My men are interrogating the hotel staff and the guests as we speak. They're the usual bumper crop of simple-minded, rural no-nothings and drunken fly fishermen. Nothing so far. Oh by the way, I personally found and talked with the waiter who delivered your glass of warm milk from that night. The world's oldest and most decrepit room service waiter remembers nothing unusual about the night in question. No surprise there. Being 104 years old, Senor Drool cup has, shall we say, a mind that wanders.
Albert Rosenfield: Dedication to duty is not the only reason of my return to Twin Peaks. It's about Windom Earle.
Dale Cooper: Agent Earle? But he's retired!
Albert Rosenfield: Yeah, I know. To a nice, comfortable chair complete with wrist and ankle restraints at the local laughing academy in D.C., until recently.
Dale Cooper: What happened?
Albert Rosenfield: Nobody knows. One day he's there, the next... poof! He disappeared. He escaped. Vanished into thin air. Your former partner flew the coop, Coop.
Emory Battis: You don't know what you're dealing with, Miss Horne. You don't know how deep you're in.
Audrey Horne: Oh, yes I do. I'm Audrey Horne and I get what I want.
Audrey Horne: Talk, Emory! I want to know everything. About you, Laura, Ronnette, One-Eyed Jacks.
Emory Battis: All right! I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks.
Audrey Horne: Who is?
Emory Battis: That's all you need to know. I work for the owner of One-Eyed Jacks.
Audrey Horne: [strangles Emory with an electric cord] Who is?
Emory Battis: [gagging] Your father! Ben Horne! He owns this place. He owns everything in Twin Peaks, including me. I run girls through the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. That's how I recruited Laura Palmer and Ronnette Pulaski.
Audrey Horne: Did Laura and Ronnette both work here?
Emory Battis: Yes... on weekends they would come up here to service the clientele. Ronnette worked here until that night. As for Laura... one weekend a few months ago, she was caught using drugs. So, Blackie and I threw her out and we never saw her again. That's the truth, I swear.
Audrey Horne: Did my father know that Laura worked here?
Emory Battis: Yes. Mr. Horne makes it his personal business to entertain all the girls on their very first night.
Audrey Horne: Wait. One more question. Did Laura know that my father owned it?
Emory Battis: Owned what?
Audrey Horne: One-Eyed Jacks! Did she know that he was the owner the whole time she worked here?
Emory Battis: I don't know. I never asked, and she never asked.
[Audrey strangles Emory harder with the cord]
Emory Battis: [gagging] AHHH! Yes... I guess... probably she did. Laura was a wild girl. She always got what she wanted... just like you Miss Horne. Just like you.