The Twilight Zone (1985–1989)
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Take My Life... Please!/Devil's Alphabet/The Library 

Comedian Billy Diamond plays a tough gig in the afterlife. "Devil's Alphabet": In Victorian England, Cambridge graduates are bound by a youthful oath even after they die. "The Library": A ... See full summary »


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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
Billy Diamond (segment "Take My Life...Please!")
Ray Buktenica ...
Max (segment "Take My Life...Please!")
Dave (segment "Take My Life...Please!")
Marty (segment "Take My Life...Please!") (as Jim McKrell)
Frederick (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Grant (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Eli (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Cornelius (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Deaver (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Osmund Bullock ...
Andrew (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Brian (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Stuart Dowling ...
Creditor (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Christopher Carroll ...
Chimney Sweep (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Assistant Chimney Sweep (segment "Devil's Alphabet")
Gloria (segment "The Library")


Comedian Billy Diamond plays a tough gig in the afterlife. "Devil's Alphabet": In Victorian England, Cambridge graduates are bound by a youthful oath even after they die. "The Library": A young woman goes to work in an unusual library. Written by A. Nonymous

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Release Date:

28 March 1986 (UK)  »

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Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


"Take My Life...Please!" has no opening narration. Neither "Devil's Alphabet" nor "The Library" has any narration, at either the beginning or the end. The title is based upon the Henny Youngman joke, "Now take my wife. Please!" See more »


A crew-member's reflection is visible in Billy's car-window as he enters it. See more »

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User Reviews

The comedic ninth gate of confessions/letter society/rewrite everyone's book of life!
28 March 2011 | by See all my reviews

This TZ episode 22 from season one was a pretty good one only the second segment was a drag as the first and last segments were interesting and entertaining as each teach a lesson.

First up and the best is "Take My Life...Please!" a tale of a stand up comedian who meets his fatal fate of dying in a car crash, only he wakes up to a big surprise he's in a club of the dead. It's like the last gate before heaven and hell! Only scary and tough is that he will have to perform endlessly, and get this the crowd will only laugh when he reveals his most painful and truthful confessions of life that hurt his soul. It's like being trapped in an underworld of never ending revealing guilt! Second segment and the dullest one is "Devil's Alphabet" a tale which is set back in the 1800's involving a secret society group who are after new members by having them to sign oaths. Really this tale was nothing special a bore! Last and somewhat interesting is "The Library" it involves a woman who begins a new job as a keeper of books at a strange library which contains oddly enough a book on every living person. And to suit herself and others around her she starts to make changes and rewrites to the books! Only she will find out that fate will write it's own self out as you really should not try to rewrite a person's life! Overall good episode only the second segment was a drag.

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