[the guys are sitting in a row of latrines, after contracting food poisoning. Danny is waiting his turn... ]
Private Alberto Ruiz: What kind of guy deserts his buddies?
Private Marcus Taylor: A coward!
Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury: C'mon, Marcus. You're the guy all the time tellin' us we ought not to be jumpin' to conclusions.
Private Marcus Taylor: And I'm right! But a deserter's a deserter...
Private Danny Purcell: [Danny rushes to the latrines and notices they are all occupied] Awww! Well, hurry up!
Private Alberto Ruiz: You know, if there was a guy thinking about deserting in our unit, I'd rather have him step forward and go home.
Private Marcus Taylor: What?
Private Alberto Ruiz: Well, better that than in the middle of a fire fight when he's supposed to be watching my back.
Private Danny Purcell: Look, one of you guys had go to hurry up, 'k?
Private Marcus Taylor: One second, Danny! You know Roo, you have a point there, man. Take Doc here - Doc might be a... a... a squirrelly, little, long-haired... a... red-neck, pinko, conshie medic but I know he wouldn't desert me in battle.
Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury: Thank you.
Private Danny Purcell: Awww, hell!
[Steals toilet paper and runs off into the grass]
Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury: Danny, come back here with... that.