Quotes
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[first lines]
Christopher Titus : Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a kid with only love and support, I guarantee that kid will be in rehab by the time he is 16. Why? Because you never introduced him to Mr. Back-of-Your-Hand. You know why I only broke into a liquor store once? 'Cause my father introduced me to Mr. Back-of-His-Hand and its wiley sidekick, Mr. Foot-in-My-Ass.
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[last lines]
Christopher Titus : Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some. Mom, there is nothing to forgive. You gave me life. And, hey, you're not crazy anymore. Everybody thinks I am. Real funny, Mom.
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Christopher Titus : My mom's not a bad person. She just has bad people living inside her. She's very creative in the way she hurts people. She could've been famous, but she wouldn't sign the Batman villain release form.
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Christopher Titus : Erin's the kind of woman who can rip your head off and make you feel like a bad boy. God, that's sexy.
[shrugs]
Christopher Titus : I'm damaged.
