- Jack Tripper: [re Mrs. Roper] Well, did she say when she was coming back?
- Chrissy Snow: Uh-huh. When pigs grow wings.
- Chrissy Snow: That could take weeks.
- Mrs. Hollins: [the lady from the pet shop who"s looking after the parakeet] I'm Mrs. Hollins. I just came over to see his little friend.
- Jack Tripper: [after lugging in party supplies] My arms have grown six inches!
- Chrissy Snow: That's better than if they've grown a foot!
- Janet Wood: Jack, listen, hey, is that all the stuff that you got?
- Jack Tripper: No, there's more downstairs. I'll go get it.
- Janet Wood: Listen, whatever you do, don't let Mr. Roper see you. I mean, you know how he feels about parties.
- Jack Tripper: Don't worry, Janet, I learned camouflage and stalking when I was a Boy Scout.
- Chrissy Snow: Did you have badges?
- Jack Tripper: No, but I got a couple of Campfire Girls.
- Chrissy Snow: [in kitchen] Hey, do we have any of those, uh, what do you call them, bacon-flavored things?
- Janet Wood: Pigs?
- Stanley Roper: [to his parakeet] We don't like noisy parties, do we? It makes our feathers fall out. Now play with your toy toy.