- Chrissy Snow: [comes rushing in with letter] Oh, this is terrible! My father's coming to preach a sermon!
- Janet Wood: Here?
- Chrissy Snow: No, in the church.
- Janet Wood: Chrissy, when's your father coming?
- Chrissy Snow: Today! His plane lands at two-thirty! Oh, no, look!
- [tosses the letter onto the kitchen table]
- Jack Tripper: He should have brought that with him and saved himself a stamp.
- Janet Wood: It took over a week to get here. Oh, no!
- Jack Tripper: From Fresno?
- [goes through rest of mail]
- Jack Tripper: What else did our efficient postal service bring us? Any Christmas cards or nice magazines? No, just bills! They always get here right on time!
- [throws down the stack]
- Chrissy Snow: This is terrible. He can't see us like this!
- Janet Wood: [with irony] Well, you're right. This apartment is a wreck.
- [looks around her, everything is of course fairly spick and span]
- Chrissy Snow: It's worse than that!
- Janet Wood: Oh, Chrissy, that's an exaggeration. I mean, your Dad's been here before. He knows how we live.
- Chrissy Snow: *Things have changed since then!*
- Jack Tripper: What things?
- Chrissy Snow: You used to be Eleanor.
- Jack Tripper: Hey, level with me, was my operation a success?
- [flutters eyelashes]
- Janet Wood: Jack, last time Chrissy's father came down, Eleanor was still our roommate.
- Jack Tripper: Oh, Chrissy, don't worry about it. I'm sure your father's gonna like me.
- Chrissy Snow: [whines] Oh...
- Jack Tripper: Chrissy, I'll be on my best behavior.
- Chrissy Snow: [whines even more] No...
- [clasps her hands over her head]
- Jack Tripper: Thank you for the vote of confidence.
- Chrissy Snow: Oh, Jack, I want you to do something in my bedroom too!
- Jack Tripper: That's an even better idea!
- [imitates bawdy dancing]
- Janet Wood: Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And just what did you have in mind?