- Fez: I'm sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal.
- Steven Hyde: I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don't want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water.
- Fez: Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am? I wish I had a lady made of pizza. Or a pizza made of boobs!
- Donna Pinciotti: [discussing a TV program] We were sitting in these same seats when we saw it.
- Steven Hyde: Actually, you were sitting over there. I remember it because I could see up your skirt.
- Donna Pinciotti: One time, he was creeping around my locker, and when I opened it, there was a rose inside and my gym socks were missing!
- Michael Kelso: Donna, a word of advice: you're not gonna want those socks back!
- Nina: [after Fez taps her on the shoulder] Oh, hi, Fez.
- Fez: Oh, you wish! Try your "Hi, Fez" routine on someone else, babe, 'cause I don't need it!
- [walks back to friends' table]
- Steven Hyde: Nice work, Fez.
- Fez: Shut up. I don't need your accolades!