[Kelso tells the guys how he was making out with Pam Macy in the school orchestra room]
Michael Kelso: You know the really, really bad thing that can happen to guys when they're with girls?
Fez: Oh, did Mr. Cooper come in to buff the floor?
Michael Kelso: No.
Michael Kelso: Okay. Let me put it this way. The buffer wouldn't buff.
Fez: Poor Mr. Cooper.
Steven Hyde: No, Fez. I think what he's trying to say is the rabbit wouldn't come out of the hat.
Eric Forman: The weasel wouldn't pop.
Michael Kelso: The alphabet soup never spelled "go".
Eric Forman: There were a lot of Amish people but they couldn't raise the barn.
Steven Hyde: Nice one, Forman.
Eric Forman: It just came to me.
Donna Pinciotti: We're spending the weekend at a hotel.
Steven Hyde: What, car sex isn't good enough anymore?
Fez: I would love car sex...
Fez: Or just sex...
Fez: Or just a car.
[Bob and Midge stormed in the hotel room where they thought Donna and Eric would be but where Kitty and Red are]
Midge Pinciotti: Oh, Kitty. What a pretty nightgown.
Kitty Forman: Thank you Midge.
Kitty Forman: Could you hand it to me, please?
Michael Kelso: If this is about maturity, I want nothing to do with it!
Michael Kelso: Guys, I gotta tell you something. I'm omnipotent.
Kitty Forman: Will Michael's parents be home?
Eric Forman: Yes.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Are they as dumb as he is?
Eric Forman: I can't lie. Yes. Yes they are.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Right answer. That was a trick question. I know they're dumb.
[Pam Macy is driving her car, Kelso is sitting next to her. Kelso is embarrassed and Pam has sour expression, because Kelso was unable to "perform"]
Michael Kelso: Look, Pam, I'm really sorry about what happened... again. I must have the flu or something.
Pam Macy: Well, it's not like any flu I've ever heard of.
Michael Kelso: [angrily] Well, there's lots of kinds of flu, Pam!
Michael Kelso: I'm sorry.
Pam Macy: [teasing] Oh, well, don't take it so HARD. Oops. Sorry.
Michael Kelso: Look, just don't tell anybody, okay?
Pam Macy: [smiles nastily] Oh, Flopsy, I'm not gonna tell ANYBODY. I'm gonna tell EVERYBODY.
[Kelso is worried to hear that]