- [Fez is dressed up as Batman, for Halloween]
- Jackie Burkhart: Donna, you know who protected me back there? Fez.
- Donna Pinciotti: He had to. He's Batman.
- [Eric just told a scary story]
- Fez: When I was six, the mayor of our town was hung from a tree. Your story was not scary.
- Kitty Forman: [Kitty has just given raisins to trick-or-treaters] Raisins are nature's candy.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [the Forman house is pelted with eggs] And eggs are nature's hand grenades.
- Jackie Burkhart: [Discussing Halloween plans] Hey, my church is having a haunted house.
- Donna Pinciotti: I really don't think anyone's going to be scared of a bunch of Episcopalians.
- Michael Kelso: Unless they have chainsaws! Hey, I know! Let's go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael, I told you: I don't like Texans!
- Grandma Forman: Oh, God, *no*! You're pregnant!
- Kitty Forman: Yes.
- Grandma Forman: Do you know who the father is?
- Kitty Forman: You know what I hear is nice: Florida!
- [the gang is burying their permanent records]
- Jackie Burkhart: This is so stupid. Why don't we just burn them?
- Michael Kelso: Jackie, they've already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way.
- Michael Kelso: Let's stop fighting! It's Halloween! Time for peace on earth and goodwill toward men!