- Michael Kelso: College is for ugly girls who can't get modeling contracts.
- Donna Pinciotti: No, college is for women who don't want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children.
- Eric Forman: Oh, hey, here comes a dumb question. Uh, I wasn't a mistake, was I?
- Kitty Forman: Oh, for... for... Okay! Who wants some cocoa?
- Eric Forman: Money doesn't make the world go 'round. You know what makes the world go round?
- Steven Hyde: Screw you, you called me a thief!
- Eric Forman: It's love, that's right.
- Laurie Forman: Okay, Eric. First of all, you were a mistake. Just ask Mom and Dad.
- [they then discuss Eric's missing money]
- Eric Forman: [as Eric is leaving the room] Was I really a mistake?
- Laurie Forman: They sued the condom company.