- Kelso thinks he's the stooge of the police academy and, with Eric and Hyde, breaks into the police academy to check his file.
- According to Roy, Jackie and the other boys, Kelso is this year's police academy stooge, so they break in to make sure, are found by his instructor officer Kennedy and told now he is. After Kelso failed an important test, they break in again. Fez must pass a last interview to become a US citizen, so the Forman parents and Donna (of whose knowledge Kitty is terribly jealous) train him in national history; on the day he finds there is no quiz, but makes a pass at the Immigration (INS) clerk who considers it all too un-married behavior...—KGF Vissers
- According to Roy, Jackie and the other boys, Kelso is this year's police academy stooge (the guy who everybody is sure will fail out). Kelso feels that everybody is extra tough on him at the academy, and he was even chosen last to work on the CPR dummy, so everybody's spit was all over it. The stooge is used by the academy to scare the other cadets. Roy himself was once a stooge at the academy. Kelso has a bad record. He has fallen off the water tower every year since junior high. He broke his arm wrestling a dog. No one has eaten more change than him. Jackie says that Kelso is lazy, clumsy and a stooge. Donna imagines Kelso, Eric and Hyde as the 3 stooges. In her imagination, they are working in a kitchen and end up throwing all the pies on each other.
Kelso is keen to find out if he is the stooge. Kelso says that he has to look into his file, which means he has to break into the police academy. So, they break in to check Kelso's permanent records. They were all smoking weed in the sample room, where the police keep all the drug samples that police dogs get trained on. Kelso puts on a training collar, and Hyde has the remote. Eventually, they are found by his instructor officer Kennedy. Kelso says that he broke in to find out if he is the stooge. Kennedy confirms that Johnson is the stooge, till now. Now its Kelso.
After Kelso failed an important test, they break in again to change his answers and scores. Kennedy catches them again, but lets it slide when Kelso pleads that he has a kid on the way. Kennedy confirms that there is no stooge, and it's just a rumor started to get the cadets to work harder. And Roy was fired from the academy for shooting the police horse.
Fez must pass a last interview to become a US citizen. Red speculates that he will be quizzed on US history. Red warns Fez to expect a tough quiz, as America is careful about whom they accept as citizens. So, the Forman parents, Jackie and Donna, of whose knowledge Kitty is terribly jealous, train him in national history. Donna says that the Statue of Liberty was a gift from the French, which Kitty did not know. Kitty also did not know the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the ratification of the Constitution. Red takes over when Donna says that Vietnam was an illegal war that the US lost. Red says that US did not lose, it was a tie. And the Vietnamese are grateful as they have McDonalds now. Fez still cannot pronounce "America" and keeps saying "Amedeeca" which drives Red nuts.
On the day he finds there is no quiz but makes a pass at the Immigration National Service (INS) clerk who considers it all too unmarried and she refuses to stamp his papers for green card approval, knowing that Fez's marriage is a sham.
Fez cries until she feels bad and approves his papers.
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