Janet is married to a doctor who's married to his work. She wants to live her life with passion, danger, and romance like Fuchsia Monroe, a soap opera character she watches religiously. ... See full summary »



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Episode cast overview:
Fuchsia Monroe
Evian Monroe
Abel, the Cable Guy
Crypt Keeper (voice)
Parker Kane ...


Janet is married to a doctor who's married to his work. She wants to live her life with passion, danger, and romance like Fuchsia Monroe, a soap opera character she watches religiously. When her television goes haywire, her friend Louise convinces her to get cable. With her husband unresponsive to her "needs," she begins a steamy affair with the cable guy. Written by grrlpunk

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Release Date:

21 August 1991 (USA)  »

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Technical Specs

Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


This story deals with a woman's fascination with soap operas and the cable guy who comes to fix her TV and her loneliness. There is quite a bit of self-reference to cable-TV, as this series appeared on cable - HBO - in the early days of original programming on that medium (1989-1996). When Janet's TV picture goes out, Louise convinces her to get cable. "The picture is so much better. Plus, you get HBO and everything. It would really improve the quality of your life." Janet protests that her husband, Leon, thinks cable is frivolous. Louise persists: "What? CNN frivolous? C-Span frivolous? The Weather Channel frivolous? Hah! I think not!" Later, Leon walks into the bedroom and finds the cable guy and Janet standing by the TV. He asks what's going on, and Abel explains that he had to come back to "check out the equipment". (This script is overflowing with puns.) When he switches on the set, we hear the Crypt Keeper laughing maniacally, and see the opening title for "Tales from the Crypt". Leon barks, "Turn that off." Abel complies. See more »


Abel, the Cable Guy: [the TV goes out at a crucial point in her soaps, so she calls the repairman] Hi. I'm Abel, with the cable.
Janet: [almost overwhelmed by his studliness] I'm sure you are. Ah-hah. I mean, Hi! Come in. I'm glad you're here, 'cause "Tomorrow" starts in an hour.
Abel, the Cable Guy: What?
Janet: My story... "There's Always Tomorrow". It's a soap opera.
Abel, the Cable Guy: [seeming to pick up on her attraction to him, he delivers seductively] So where do you want it?
Janet: Huh?
Abel, the Cable Guy: Your box.
Janet: Excuse me?
Abel, the Cable Guy: The cable box. Where do you want it?
Janet: Well, I need it more than ...
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References Tales from the Crypt (1989) See more »


Tales from the Crypt Theme
Composed by Danny Elfman
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User Reviews

Caaaaaaaable Guuuuuuy!
10 March 2006 | by (the Draconian Swamp of Unholy Souls) – See all my reviews

Very lackluster and ordinary "Tales from the Crypt" episode that really hasn't got anything to offer apart from a couple of mild grins, maybe. The story seriously lacks originality, excitement and – most of all – the solid hand of a real director. Andy Wolk mainly just did TV-drama's and late Friday night thrillers and his work for HBO's series is pretty weak compared to great directors like Walter Hill, Russell Mulcahy or Tom Holland. Fed up with her workaholic husband and inspired by her favorite soap opera on TV, housewife Janet starts a sexual relationship with hunky cable guy Abel. As a matter of course, her husband finds out about his wife's infidelity and uses his medical breakthrough discovery to avenge himself. 98% of the story is really boring and it shamelessly uses footage from another fictional soap opera as pure padding. There's not the least bit of gore and the attempt to black humor entirely misses its effect, simply because the premise is so unoriginal. I usually think Anthony LaPlagia is a cool dude, but he looks rather stupid her as God's bubblegum-chewing gift to women. Besides, how many lame ambiguous jokes can they possible make in 30 minutes? Abel's powerful cable represents the male reproductive organ, yeah okay we get it.

3 of 12 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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