Judge Mills: You are in my opinion an evil person. However, due to the arcane technicalities dredged up by your council, I have no alternative but to find you... not guilty.
Garber: Anybody we know? Oh, Sweet Willie Brown.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: I gave him a traffic sitation a block from here, not ten minutes ago.
Garber: Yeah? Well, he won't be paying it.
Officer Vince Romano: The guy said on the register 'John Smith'. You think that's his real name?
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Yeah, and the girl's name was Pocahontas.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: You want some coffee?
Officer Vince Romano: I'lll pass, thanks. I want to make it through the day without a hole in my stomach.