- Count Zoltan Dracula: Greetings. You must be Mario. You must be Luigi. You must be kidding me... This place is a dump!
- Luigi: [reading from How to Get Rid of a Vampire] A-ha! If all else fails, send the vampire to the grocery store for some bread. While he's gone, you move.
- Count Zoltan Dracula: Excuse me!
- [Mario and Luigi shudder]
- Count Zoltan Dracula: Relax. Would you really like to know how to get rid of a vampire?
- Luigi: Yeah.
- Count Zoltan Dracula: Just ask me! I'll be out of here like a bat.
- Toad: [after Mario and Luigi go off to sell the cow] I think you should've sent me, Princess. I know the used cow market.
- Princess Toadstool: Nonsense, Toad, I need you here. And who could possibly mess up a simple thing like selling a cow for cash?
- Toad: The Marios?
- Princess Toadstool: You sold the cow for what?
- Mario: Bean seeds. Real special beans.
- Luigi: Garbanzo beans. Show 'em, Mario.
- Mario: [shows the garbanzo bean seeds] Dealin' Delbert says we've really got the sweet end of the deal.
- Princess Toadstool: I can't believe this! You've traded the royal cow for a handful of bean seeds?
- Toad: Shrewd seeding, Mario! Who wants cash money when they could have a few garbanzos instead.
- Mario: Gee, he really made it sound like they were our answer for everything.
- Princess Toadstool: Well, they're not, and I'm allergic to garbanzo bean seeds.
- [sneezes and the bean seeds scatter]
- Toad: Good riddance, Princess! I'll goto town in the morning and see if I can con that conman out of our cow.
- Princess Toadstool: Let's hope. Meanwhile, we'd all better get some sleep.
- [sneezes again]
- Mario: [looks at the huge garbanzo beanstalk] Princess, you're gonna have a lot more money to save an orphanage then a cow could've gotten you.
- Princess Toadstool: How's that?
- Mario: There are tens of millions of garbanzo lovers in the world, and we're about to pick enough beans for 'em all.
- [Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Princess Toadstool cheer]