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[Esteban, London, Maddie, Zack, and Cody are seated around a table, trying to summon a ghost]

Esteban: [chanting] Ghostie...

[speaking]

Esteban: if I may call you that...

[resumes chanting]

Esteban: ...speak to us.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...

Esteban: Maddie is channeling the spirit.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: ...dopes!

[laughs]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You guys are so gullible!

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London Tipton: The ghost stole my money! She is so DEAD!

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Zack Martin: Arwin, why are you wearing a welding mask?

Arwin: It gives me an air of mystery.

[He puts the mask over his face]

Arwin: [In a Darth Vader voice] The force is strong with this one.

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Carey: Zack, no brother-clucking!

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Cody Martin: London, save me!

[he jumps towards her arms and falls to the floor]

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Esteban: We're going to call the spirit.

[lights the candle, but it lights itself]

Esteban: Apparently, the spirit's calling us. Now everybody, join hands.

[all except Esteban hold their own hands]

Esteban: I meant with each other. Be very calm, but relaxed.

[all exhale]

Esteban: Ghostie, if I may call you that, speak to us.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...

Esteban: Maddie's channeling the spirit.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: dooopes!

[chuckles]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hahaha! You guys are so gullible! I can't believe you fell for that.

Esteban: This beliver should be punished.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [saying sarcastically] Oooo, I'm so scared!

[table shakes and Maddie whimpers]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm so scared!

Cody Martin: [table rises] Either the table's getting higher, or the floor's getting lower.

Esteban: [hums La Cucaracha] Hmmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm.

London Tipton: What are you doing?

Esteban: The spirit has me on hold.

[suddenly gets "posessed"]

Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!

[makes a scary face and turns to London and Cody and talks in s girlish voice]

Esteban: She's here!

[inrehular voice]

Esteban: Oh, hola ghostie!

[gets "reposessed"]

Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!

[makes another face and turns to Maddie and Zack]

Esteban: [in the voice of Irene] Who dares to call me in the afterlife?

Cody Martin: [to Zack] It's for you.

Zack Martin: Are you the ghost of Irene?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Yeeess, my husband left me, so I'm angry. Now, my spirit is doomed to languish for all eternity!

London Tipton: Does somebody smell...

[sniffs]

London Tipton: pizza?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Arrrhhhh, don't ever say that word!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I love pizza. What are you gonna do about it?

[Esteban makes an evil face]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Aaaahhhh!

[Maddie disappears ino the wall]

Zack Martin: Maddie, no!

London Tipton: Irene, I hate to be a bit of a nudge, but uh, can I have my money back?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] You will be silent!

London Tipton: Ok, nevermind.

Cody Martin: I-I hate pizza!

[gasps when Blankie floats away]

Cody Martin: Blankie, no!

[disppears into the wall while chasing Blankie]

Zack Martin: Cody? Buddie? Oh, no. Mom's not gonna like this.

London Tipton: So, about that thousand dollars...

[disappears into another wall]

London Tipton: I'll take a chance!

Zack Martin: Esteban, hang up on her!

Esteban: Esteban's gone. Say Aios amigos! Ayayayayayayay!

[dissapears from his seat]

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Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?

Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.

[Zack grabs Cody's arm]

Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!

Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!

Cody Martin: No, got you!

[pins Zack to the ground]

Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.

Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.

Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...

[hesitates]

Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?

Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.

Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.

Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.

[impersonates Cody]

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Cody Martin: It's the ghost! And it's coming this way!

London Tipton: And it's holding a club!

Cody Martin: Now it's eating the club!

Arwin: It's not a club, it's a sub. Meatball marinara. Want a bite?

London Tipton: Aaaaahhhh!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: What's wrong with a guy eating sub?

London Tipton: The guy who's eating the sub. No offense, but I always thought you were kind of creepy.

Arwin: None taken. Everybody says that, including mother.

[turns away]

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Arwin: Now, I have something scarier to deal with. The toilet in 620.

[Maddie, London, Zack, and Cody all gasp ans Arwin puts the mask back on and bumps into the elevator]

Arwin: Comin' mother!

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Arwin: No, because mother's a bingo and I don't have to be home till 10! Ha!

[dances]

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Female Customer: This hotel has a ghost?

Mr. Moseby: Of course not.

[to Zack & Cody]

Mr. Moseby: Now tell the nice lady you were just *pretending!*

Cody Martin: Yeah. There's no ghost.

Female Customer: Oh, that's too bad. Because a lot of people would pay extra to stay in a haunted room.

Mr. Moseby: Oh, you mean no ghost in the hallway. However, the room is lousy with them. The rest of the hotel is haunted by *these two.*

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Muriel: Her name was Irene and she was beautiful!

London Tipton: Oo, just think me, but not as rich, or pretty, and dead.

Muriel: Anyways, in 1940, Irene and her husband checked in to this hotel, but he left.

Zack Martin: What happened?

London Tipton: He went off to war. She waited 3 years, but he never came back.

Zack Martin: So, he died in battle?

London Tipton: No, he...

[Muriel stuffs the feather duster in London's mouth]

Muriel: He mat some Italian babe and opened up a pizza parlor in Naples.

London Tipton: [spits out feathers] She got so mad, she threw the silver brush he had given her at the mirror.

Muriel: The mirror shattered into a million pieces and a chard flew out, and that was the end of that. Ccccccrrrrrrr!

[putting her finger across her throat]

Muriel: Good luck.

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Maddie Fitzpatrick: [sarcastically] I'm so scared.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [table shakes, not sarcastically] I'm so scared!

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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