Dana Foster: [Cody drops a box on her breakfast] Cody, do you mind picking up that box?
Cody Lambert: Well yeah, it's kind of heavy, that's why I put it down.
Dana Foster: You just squashed my breakfast.
Cody Lambert: No way!
[picks up the box, the waffle's stuck to the box]
Cody Lambert: Doesn't look very appetizing, you were going to eat that?
Dana Foster: Not anymore.
Dana Foster: What're you doing with all these books anyway?
Cody Lambert: These are the books I read last week, I'm taking them back to the library.
Dana Foster: You read all those books in a week?
Cody Lambert: Yeah buddy, yeah I took a speed reading course.
Dana Foster: What made you do that?
Cody Lambert: Very interesting story. Well I was watching that movie Psycho you know, eeh eeh eeh! Well anyway, that dude Norman Bates was a taxidermist so I thought, whoa, stuffing dead animals, that sounds pretty cool. So I went down to the community college to take a taxidermy course.
Dana Foster: What does that have to do with speed reading?
Cody Lambert: Oh man, did I leave that part out? Well anyway, all the taxidermy classes were full, so I took a speed reading course instead. Now I can read a book like a banshee but I can't stuff a parrot to save my life.
Ryan: I don't really like the library.
Cody Lambert: Ryan, dude! Are you kidding? The library's totally awesome, it's like a travel agency for the mind. Anyplace you want to go, you can get there just by opening a book, you want to go to Mars? Boom! Astronomy. Like dinosaurs? Boom! Prehistoric history. Like northern Italian cuisine? Boom, we've got a killer pizza parlor next to the library.
Cody Lambert: Ah the noble library! The Bastian of books! The Fort Knox of knowledge! And the only place left in America where you can still get a photocopy for a penny!
Ryan: I have to go to the bathroom.
Cody Lambert: Whoa boy, when nature calls, Ryan really listens, eh?
Brendan Lambert: Cody, come here.
Cody Lambert: What's up dude?
Brendan Lambert: That's not why he's running away, he's kind of embarrassed because he can't read very well.
Cody Lambert: Oh, wow, reading problems at the library, eh? That's kind of like being at 31 Flavors and having no tatste buds.
Cody Lambert: Okay now remember, my little pint sized page turners, next week we're going to be reading a tot psychological thriller with major social overtones. It's called Johnny Gets a Red Balloon!
Cody Lambert: Brendan tells me that you're having a little bit of trouble reading.
Ryan: He told you that? I thought he's my friend.
Cody Lambert: Oh he is, he wasn't trying to rat you out. No he just thought I could help you.
Ryan: I don't think anyone can help me, I'm not that good at reading.
Cody Lambert: Ryan, dude, learning how to read is just like learning how to play the guitar man. Nobody is good right away, you've got to practice.
Ryan: I just think it's too hard.
Cody Lambert: Well okay, but you'd be missing a lot of cool stuff.
Ryan: What kind of stuff?
Cody Lambert: Oh I don't know, sports, adventure stories, science fiction, monsters!
Ryan: Monsters? I like monsters!
Cody Lambert: Dude, me too! You've got to read The Monster on Space Station X, it's got this really big monster that spits this green ooze at you. And if it hits you, you don't die right away, you just swell up really big and then you explode! And there's like brains and guts and bones flying all over the place.
Cody Lambert: So what do you say? You wanna come here and practice reading with me? We can do it everyday, we can just read the books you like.
Ryan: But what if I make mistakes?
Cody Lambert: Dude, EVERYBODY makes mistakes. Do you think I MEANT to cut my hair like this?
Ryan: [reading] Then... Huckle... Huckleberry thought, maybe I'd get a new name if I did something herc, heric...
Cody Lambert: That's right, just sound it out one syllable at a time just like we practiced, you'll get it.
Ryan: coic... heroic!
Cody Lambert: That's right, he did it! Is Ryan a great reader or what?
Cody Lambert: Now see the point here is you can learn anything you want to learn, just put your mind to it. Like take me for example, I want to learn how to do taxidermy, anyone else here want to learn how to stuff a parrot?
[all the kids raise their hands]
Cody Lambert: Okay, next week at my house!