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"Star Trek: The Next Generation" The Outrageous Okona (TV Episode 1988) Poster

Quotes

Guinan: [explaining to Data why his joke was not funny] Data... you spoiled the joke. But it could have been your timing.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: My timing is digital.

[Guinan laughs softly]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: What?

Guinan: That's funny.

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[Worf finds Okona in deep embrace with a woman in her quarters]

Lieutenant Worf: You will come with me to the main bridge!

Capt. Thadiun Okona: I'm sure it can wait a few minutes?

[continues kissing the woman]

Lieutenant Worf: NOW!

[Okana turns and has a stare-down with Worf]

Lieutenant Worf: [growls] I'd like that! But I have my orders.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: [smugly] Some other time.

[Okana turns to the woman he was kissing]

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Remember what it took to drag me from your arms!

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Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Now, please follow Commander Riker's instructions so our ship can get back to its normal routine.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Whatever you say, Captain.

[Riker grins]

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Something funny?

Commander William T. Riker: Well, the unexpected *is* our normal routine.

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Lt. Cmdr. Data: I come from a town so small, we had a fraction for a zip-code. -... - It was so small, in fact, we didn't have a godfather of crime, we had a nephew.

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Guinan: Look, it's just you and I here. We're talking, we're having an intimate conversation. Why? Because you're a 'droid and I'm a 'noid.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: But why?

Guinan: Because that's what I am.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Have I said something to offend you?

Guinan: No.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Then why are you annoyed?

Guinan: [slowly] Because you're a *'droid* and I'm a *'noid*.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Humanoid.

Guinan: Yes.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: You told a joke.

Guinan: Yes!

Lt. Cmdr. Data: I am not laughing.

Guinan: Yes!

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Wesley Crusher: Say goodbye, Data.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Goodbye, Data.

[crew laughs]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Was that funny?

Wesley Crusher: [laughs]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Accessing. Ah! Burns and Allen, Roxy Theater, New York City, 1932. It still works.

[pauses]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Then there was the one about the girl in the nudist colony, that nothing looked good on?

Lieutenant Worf: We're ready to get under way, sir.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Take my Worf, please.

Commander William T. Riker: [to Captain Picard] Warp speed, sir?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Please.

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: Now, that's sex appeal!

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Sexual attraction in this context is not a part of my programming. I am an android.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Well, then, have you seen any good-looking computers lately?

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: [handing Wesley his defective guidance system] Commander, I leave this in your capable hands.

Wesley Crusher: Sir, this is Commander Data. I'm just an acting ensign.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Well, acting ensigns have names, don't they?

Wesley Crusher: Wesley. Wesley Crusher.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Nice to meet you, Acting Ensign Wesley Wesley Crusher.

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Lieutenant Worf: Captain! They're now locking lasers on us.

Commander William T. Riker: Lasers?

Lieutenant Worf: Yes, sir.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Lasers can't even penetrate our navigation shields, don't they know that?

Commander William T. Riker: Regulations... do call for yellow alert.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Hm... Very old regulation. Well, make it so, Number One. And reduce speed. Drop main shields as well.

Commander William T. Riker: May I ask why, sir?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One.

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The Comic: You, pal, are a tough room.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: "Tough room"?

[accesses his data bank]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Ah! A colloquialism, meaning a severe, rigid, close-minded audience. I understand. I will attempt to be an easy room.

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: Have you ever been cold?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: No.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Warm, then?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: No.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: What about drunk? Ever do that?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: From alcohol? That is not possible for me, sir.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: Pity. What about love?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: The act or the emotion?

Capt. Thadiun Okona: They're both the same.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: I believe that statement to be inaccurate, sir.

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[Data is attempting to tell a joke]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decided to go bowling together...

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Lt. Cmdr. Data: Take my Worf. Please.

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: A Klingon Security Officer?

Lieutenant Worf: Yes.

Capt. Thadiun Okona: No wars available, eh?

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Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Okona appears to have excellent vision - as well as a healthy libido.

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Lieutenant Worf: [of the Straleb security vessel] Another glob fly.

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: Life... is like loading twice your cargo weight onto your spacecraft. If it's canaries, and you can keep half of them flying all of the time... you're all right.

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The Comic: Tell me, Data, what happened?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: I told a joke.

The Comic: And?

Lt. Cmdr. Data: No one laughed.

The Comic: No one? Nobody in the whole room?

Guinan: I was the whole room.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: She said I spoiled the joke.

Guinan: Actually, 'killed' would have been a better word.

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Capt. Thadiun Okona: Yanar, you're angry at the embarrassment of all this. And maybe the timing and the approach is not the most romantic, but I know you love Benzan, and I don't want to see you throw away that feeling just because your parents have been quarreling for years and don't know how to behave properly.

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[Data is acting as a comedian in front of a holo-audience]

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Good evening, ladies and germs.

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Lt. Cmdr. Data: Then, there was the one about the girl in the nudist colony, that nothing looked good on.

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Guinan: Being able to make people laugh or being able to laugh is not the end-all and be-all of being human.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: No. But there is nothing more... uniquely human.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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