Lt. Cmdr. Data: Captain. I am seeking advice in how to...
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Yes, I've heard, Data. And I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know.
Lieutenant Worf: Klingons do not pursue relationships. They conquer that which they desire. However - Lieutenant D'Sora serves under my command. If she were mistreated, I would be very displeased - sir.
Guinan: Data, if I didn't know you better, I would say you were a little... preoccupied.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Lieutenant D'Sora just gave me what could be considered a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: The Book of Love, chapter 4, paragraph 17: when your girlfriend arrives with a gift, stop whatever it is you're doing and give her your undivided attention.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I should not have resumed my painting?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: No.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Despite your suggestion that I continue?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: Exactly.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I have much to learn.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: This can be a, a little complicated. Listen, my advice is... ask somebody else for advice, at least someone who's... got more experience at... giving advice.
Guinan: It's not good to advise people about their first love affairs. That's kind of something people have to figure out for themselves.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: But I am not capable of love.
Guinan: Then it's gonna be a very unique experience.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: [reminiscing about the past] Those times were really special... I wish we were back there now, you and I.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: The unidirectional nature of the time continuum makes that an unlikely possibility.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: [nonplussed, then laughs] That's what I love about you, Data. You make me laugh.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: [chatting to the O'Briens about Data] He came over to my quarters the other day to give me a music lesson, and he said the funniest thing.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: [to Data] How did you put it? About, erm, about the mess?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I believe I observed that you seem to have an aversion to orderliness.
Commander William T. Riker: Data, when it really works between two people, it's not like anything you've ever experienced. The rewards are far greater than simple friendship.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: How far, sir?
Commander William T. Riker: That's what I'm hoping you're going to find out.
[Picard finds his ready room inexplicably in disarray and consults Worf to investigate]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Well, perhaps we have a poltergeist.
Lieutenant Worf: [puzzled] Sir?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: A mischievous spirit.
Lieutenant Worf: [disbelieving] Sir.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Perhaps not.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: This is all part of a program?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Yes. One which I have just created for romantic relationships.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: So I'm, erm... I'm just a small variable in one of your new computational environments?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: You are much more than that, Jenna. I have written a subroutine specifically for you - a program within the program. I have devoted a considerable share of my internal resources to its development.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: Data... that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: Why don't you go back to your painting? Oh, I really mean it this time!
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: Data... sometimes people blindly make the same mistake again and again.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Are you currently experiencing this phenomenon?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: I didn't see it until today. I got out of a relationship with an unemotional man. And I got right back into another one - with... with a man who's... absolutely incapable of emotion.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Hm... There does appear to be a recurring motif.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Jenna - are we no longer... a couple?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: No, we're not.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Then I will delete the appropriate program.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: My programming may be inadequate to the task.
Counselor Deanna Troi: We're all more than the sum of our parts, Data. You'll have to be more than the sum of your programming.
Guinan: What do you think of her, Data?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I find her to be a competent officer; highly motivated... though somewhat lacking in her understanding of the theory underlying the dilithium matrix application.
Guinan: I meant personally.
[Jenna visits Data in his quarters with a sculpture as a gift]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: You have often expressed dissatisfaction with the spartan nature of my quarters. Is this an attempt at embellishment?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: The cat's out of the bag.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [looking around for his cat] Spot?
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: No, I mean I... you've caught me in the act.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [attempting to simulate a quarrel] You don't tell me how to behave; you're not my mother!
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [after the "quarrel" with Jenna] In my study of interpersonal dynamics, I have found that conflict, followed by emotional release, often strengthens the connection between two people.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: But... there's something so forced and artificial about the way you're doing it, Data. It's just not the real you.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: With regard to romantic relationships, there is no real me.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: Kiss me.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: What were you just thinking?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Sp-ot...
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: I'm glad I was in there somewhere.
[the Enterprise is having trouble trying to beam Picard out of a shuttlecraft that is about to explode]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Now would be a good time, Mr. O'Brien.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: As close as we are, I... I don't really matter to you. Not really. Nothing I can say or do will ever make you happy or, or sad... or touch you in any way.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: That is a valid projection. It is apparent that my reach has exceeded my grasp in this particular area. I am, perhaps, not nearly so human as I aspire to become.
Lt. Jenna D'Sora: [to Data] "But you give me so much. You spend time with me when I'm lonely. You encourage me when I'm down. No man has ever been kinder to me. Those are the things that matter."