Counselor Troi: Stop this petty bickering, all of you! Especially you, Mother!
[runs out of the dining room]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [polite tone] Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing.
Lwaxana Troi: I am Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. Who are you?
Lwaxana Troi: No, no, no, don't tell me: you're the Captain!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Of course, your daughter has explained your telepathic abilities.
Lwaxana Troi: No, that wasn't telepathy, it was just common sense. Who else would they send to greet me but the Captain?
Lieutenant Tasha Yar: Jewels! Look at these jewels!
Counselor Troi: They're bonding gifts - what you would call wedding presents.
Commander William T. Riker: Who's getting married?
Counselor Troi: I am.
Counselor Troi: We are going to be together a long time.
Wyatt Miller: Yes... That is the point of marriage, I suppose.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [about Haven] Such a beautiful world. Legends say it has been known to mend souls and heal broken hearts.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Legends which are totally unsupported by fact, Captain.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Legends like that are the spice of the universe, Mr. Data, because they have a way of sometimes coming true.
Lwaxana Troi: The matter is settled. Mr. Homn will conduct the joining.
Steven Miller: But Comm... But Homn can't even talk!
Lwaxana Troi: No matter, he is highly adept in the art of sign language.
Wyatt Miller: I very much respected what you did tonight.
Counselor Troi: All I did was lose my temper.
Wyatt Miller: They've decided that the joining will be half Betazed, half Earth. The Captain will do the ceremony, and Mr. Homn will be my best man.
Counselor Troi: And we'll take half our clothes off?
Wyatt Miller: Some of us still go naked. You do, I do; your mother, my father, but - not my mother or the guests.
Counselor Troi: Captain Picard will be very relieved. How did you manage it?
Wyatt Miller: Your mother relented. And I just caught my father practicing naked in front of his mirror!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Mr. Data.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Sir?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: You're circling the room like a buzzard.
Lwaxana Troi: You've been slack, little one - allowed your mental powers to rust.
Counselor Troi: Only to avoid confusion, Mother. Humans constantly think one thing and say another.
Lwaxana Troi: Yes, they do, don't they?
Lwaxana Troi: You realize of course that with Betazoids, our ability to read the thoughts of others does see us grow much faster than the typical, plodding Human.
[Data is observing Mr. Homn as the latter enjoys one drink after another]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Considering the rate at which you imbibe, sir... is your lineage at all mixed with Human?
Counselor Troi: Whatever happened to Mr. Xelo?
Lwaxana Troi: Oh, I was forced to terminate his employment. Xelo was strongly attracted to me; his thoughts became truly pornographic!
Wyatt Miller: Mrs. Troi, can I talk to you about something serious?
Lwaxana Troi: But I'm always serious, dear boy. Only my pleasant nature makes it appear otherwise.
Lwaxana Troi: Wyatt, tell me something seriously: which of these would look best on me naked?
Lwaxana Troi: [about to leave the Enterprise] Captain! Even Xelo never had such thoughts about me. You may energize.
[she is beamed away]
Counselor Troi: That was meant as a joke, Captain.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I was not amused.
[Wyatt has decided to join the Tarellians, thus dissolving his commitment to Troi]
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Our destiny is elsewhere. But I'm happy that yours is here with us, Counselor.