Mike: Don't want to go into your party?
Tim: But they were playing 'The Time Warp', I hate 'The Time Warp'!
Mike: Daisy likes it.
Tim: So what? I hate it! It's boil-in-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants and first-year drama students with too many posters of Betty Blue, The Blues Brothers, Big Blue and Blue Velvet on their blue bloody walls!
Brian: [looking at Daisy's tin foil party decorations] I see it as a tribute to Christo, the artist.
Tim: I see it as a waste of Baco, the foil.
Daisy: We need to get used to each other. We don't know each other that well, do we?
[cutaway to Tim reading Daisy's diary]
Tim: [chuckling] Thrush.
[cut back to the original scene]
Tim: [they can hear the techno music from Amber's party above, so Daisy turns up the volume of their naff 80s pop music] What is this? This is rubbish! We should be listening to firm young melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass... God, I sound so stupid!
Twist Morgan: Daisy. Don't you look nice? Bit of a midriff show. Big's in this season. Good for you.
Twist: Hi. Interesting outfit.
Marsha: Oh, thanks. Thought I'd make an effort.
Twist: Mm, yeah. I can really see what you tried to do.
Marsha: [slightly hurt] Yeah, cheers.
Daisy: [has knocked on Marsha's door while she's having a row with her daughter Amber] Teenagers, eh?
Marsha: She's not a teenager, she's the devil in an A cup!
[Amber screams and throws something at the wall]
[after Tim spitefully begins making moaning noises in the proximity of Daisy's phone call]
Richard: Daisy! I can hear sex noise!
Tim: What with the Skaterama at the East Finchley Uberbowl and the Tripods convention in Swindon, most of my friends are otherwise engaged.
['The Time Warp' from 'The Rocky Horror Show' has started playing]
Twist: [getting up to dance] Ooh, Time Warp!
Marsha: [squeaky voice, mimicking Twist] Ooh, Time Warp!
Tim: [disappointed] Oh, Time Warp?
Tim: Do you think we're getting old, Mike?
Mike: Everyone gets old, Tim. Everyone except my cousin Adam.
Tim: What's so special about your cousin Adam?
Mike: He is getting younger.
Tim: Bastard. What are we gonna do?
Mike: There's nothing we can do, the government know, they keep it very hush-hush.
Tim: I'm not talking about Adam! I'm talking about what we're gonna do now!
Daisy: [singing along, incorrectly, to 'The King Of Rock 'n' Roll' by Prefab Sprout] Hot dog, jumping frog... Alma Cookies!
Mike: [introducing himself, with a salute] Sergeant Mike Watts, TA. It's the longest way up, shortest way down.
[meeting for the first time, Mike and Brian just stand in awkward silence]
Daisy: [gestures to Brian] Artist.
[gestures to herself]
[gestures to Mike]
Mike: Er, Mike.
Twist: It's quite a nice flat. It'll be better when you've unpacked and cleaned up a little.
Daisy: [sheepishly] This is it, actually.
[Tim answers the door. It's Mike, but also two teenage girls. Tim smiles at them]
Amber's Friend #2: Oh, hi. We're looking for the party.
Tim: Er, yeah, well, come on in.
Amber's Friend: Are you Amber's dad?
Tim: [laughs, then his smile fades] It's upstairs.
[as they go up the stairs]
Tim: I think you might have missed the puppet show, though!
Amber's Friend, Amber's Friend #2: Fuck off!
Tim: [angrily] What did you say?
Mike: They said "fuck off".
Tim: I know what they said, Mike! Little cow, standing there with her bloomin' purple hair and her alcopops, giving it all that...
Marsha: [about the party] Will Brian be there?
Daisy: Well, yeah, I hope so, Tim's just gone to ask him.
Marsha: Do you like him?
Daisy: [shrugs] He's all right.
Marsha: [whispers] Good legs.
[Tim knocks on Brian's door]
Brian: [from inside] Who is it?
Tim: Father Christmas.
[Brian rushes to the door looking all excited]
Brian: Oh, it's you.
Tim: Who'd you think it was?
Tim: [about the charade of them being a couple because the flat was advertised as being for couples only] Do we still have to hold hands in the corridor?
Daisy: Not if you don't want to.
Tim: I didn't say that.
Daisy: We could probably cut down on the fake sex noises.
[cut away to Tim and Daisy making loud grunting and yelping noises, as he plays on his Playstation and she jumps up and down on the sofa]