South Park (TV Series)

The Succubus (1999)

Isaac Hayes: Chef

Quotes 

• Chef's Father : [at Chef's rehearsal dinner]  Could I have everyone's attention, please?

  [crowd quiets] 

  Chef's Father : Tomorrow, my son is gonna get married to a beautiful lady.

  [sniffles] 

  Chef's Father : I'm very happy for them both.

  [begins to choke back tears] 

  Chef's Father : Ooh, there I go - I told myself I wasn't gonna cry.

  Chef : It's okay, pop.

  Chef's Mother : Thomas, you're gonna get me going now.

  [begins to tear up] 

  Chef's Father : I remember when Chef was just a three-year-old little man, he came runnin' into me with a big smile and his little chef's hat on, and he says to me, "Poppa, poppa." I said, "What do you need, Chef, my boy?" He said, "I need about tree-fitty."

  Chef's Mother : Tree-fitty!

  Chef's Father : Well, it was about that time I begin to get suspicious. I said, "Chef, my boy, why do you need tree-fitty?" He said, "My imaginary friend Boo-Boo the dinosaur wants it." So I went to my son's room, and sure enough, there was that damn Loch Ness Monster!

  Chef's Mother : Lord, it was scary!

  Chef's Father : I said, "Dammit, monster, you quit bugging my children, now. We work for our money in this house - we don't just give money away!"