- Mr. Garrison: Who knows what a can food drive is?
- Eric Cartman: Isn't that where they cut open a chick's stomach to get the baby out?
- Mr. Garrison: No that's a caesarian section, Eric, but remember there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- Trey Parker: You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
- [last lines]
- [Kenny's family's dinner is a can of green beans]
- Mrs. McCormick: Does anybody have a can opener?
- Mr. McCormick: Goddammit.
- Stan: [on the phone] Yeah, yeah; we want to adopt a starving Ethernopian.
- Eric Cartman: When do we get the sports watch?
- Stan: [annoyed] Just a second, fatass.
- Eric Cartman: You Vas Deferens.
- Stan: [continuing] Hello? No, it's a ma...
- [he pauses]
- Stan: Vas Deferens?
- [Kenny mumbles something, possibly about "peepee"]
- Stan: Oh.
- Cartman: See, this is what we call an all-you-can-eat buffet. Here you can eat all you want for just $6.99. That why everyone comes here on Tuesday nights, except for Kenny's family because for them, $6.99 is two year's income.
- [after being taken away to Africa by the government]
- [sees Sally Struthers eating a cake]
- Cartman: Gimme that cake.
- Sally Struthers: [mouth full] No, this is my cake.
- Cartman: Sally Struthers, you give me that cake.
- Sally Struthers: No, you can't have any.