Eric Cartman: Bad, bad monkey!
[Smacks monkey on the head]
Miss Stevens: Eric! What the hell are you doing?
Eric Cartman: I'm asserting myself, its tough love. Just like my Mr. Kitty. When he's bad I say 'That's a bad Mr. Kitty, and I smack him on the head'.
Tour Guide: And here is a three-toed sloth.
Eric Cartman: It's bad, that's a bad three-toed sloth.
[Smacks sloth on the head]
Miss Stevens: Eric! For God's sake knock it off!
Eric Cartman: Respect my authoritah!
[Throws stick at the sloth]
[driving through San Jose, Costa Rica]
Eric Cartman: Oh my God, it smells like ass out here.
Miss Stevens: All right, that does it. Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant.
Eric Cartman: I wasn't saying anything about their culture, I was just saying their city smells like ass.
Miss Stevens: You may think that making fun of third-world countries is funny but let me...
Eric Cartman: I don't think it's funny. This place is overcrowded, smelly and poor. That's not funny, that sucks.
Eric Cartman: Let me try. Let me try. We are from America. America. We are lost and very hungry. Necesito burritos!
Stan Marsh: I don't want a burrito. I want a taco. Supreme.
Eric Cartman: Y taco.
Kyle Broflovski: I want two tostados and mild sauce.
Eric Cartman: Dos tostados y, y enchiritos!
Miss Stevens: Boys, please. Not every Spanish person eats tacos and burritos. That's a stereotype!
Mr. Mackey: [Lecturing Craig in his office] I am tired of seeing you here in my office, young man. You get sent here every day, Craig.
Craig: I know.
Mr. Mackey: Why can't you behave?
Craig: I don't know.
Mr. Mackey: What do you have to say for yourself?
[Craig is silent]
Mr. Mackey: Well, I'll tell you what, young man. You're gonna be held back a grade if you can't...
[Craig gives Mr. Mackey the finger]
Mr. Mackey: Did you just flip me off?
Mr. Mackey: Yes, you did! You just flipped me the bird! This is exactly what I'm talking about! If you don't shape up, m'kay, and get your head straight-
[Craig does it again]
Mr. Mackey: There! You just flipped me off again!
Craig: No, I didn't.
Mr. Mackey: Yes, you did! And until you stop flipping people off, you can just go back to the waiting room, m'kay? Next!
[Craig hops off the chair as the door opens. The boys enter]
Mr. Mackey: Well, well, well, if it isn't Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric.
Kyle Broflovski: Hi, Craig.
Eric Cartman: Hey, don't flip me off, you son of a bitch!
Mr. Mackey: Sit down, boys. Now, let's see. What did Mr. Garrison send you in here for?
[Reading the letter]
Mr. Mackey: "The boys were being rude while a choir teacher was giving some stupid presentation..."
Stan Marsh: It's just some dumb activist kids' choir thing.
Mr. Mackey: Uh, young man, Getting Gay With Kids is not dumb, m'kay?