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"South Park" Probably (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Cartman: Kenny said in hell people speak Spanish and the water there gives you diarrhea.

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[addressing the damned]

Hell Director: Hello, newcomers and welcome. Can everybody hear me? Hello?

[taps microphone]

Hell Director: Can everybody... ok. Um, I am the Hell Director. Uh, it looks like we have 8,615 of you newbies today. And for those of you who were little confused: uh, you are dead; and this is Hell. So abbandon all hope and yadda-yadda-yadda. Uh, we are now going to start the orientation PROcess which will last about...

Protestant: Hey, wait a minute. I shouldn't be here, I was a totally strick and devout Protestant. I thought we went to heaven.

Hell Director: Yes, well, I'm afraid you are wrong.

Soldier: I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.

Hell Director: Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.

Man from Crowd: Well who was right? Who gets in to Heaven?

Hell Director: I'm afraid it was the MORmons. Yes, the MORmons were the correct answer.

The Damned: Awwww...

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[preaching to the kids]

Cartman: Freinds ay' have to tell you dat last night, Ay' received a phone call from beyond da grave-ah.

Congregation: [collective gasp]

Cartman: It was our departed friend, Kenny, calling from da depths of Hell. And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail-ah. He said dat in Hell, da smell is awful. He said dat in Hell... everyone speaks Spanish.

Congregation: [collective gasp of horror]

Cartman: He said d'er is water in Hell, but if you drink it you pee blood out your ass for seven hours-ah.

Congregation: NO.

Cartman: And perhaps worst of awl... in Hell d'er are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores, but they all have the same little trinkets in dem.

Congregation: [collective gasp of horror]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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