Tony Soprano: Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son? They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: When's the last time you had a prostate exam?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Hey, I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my FACE.
[Dr. Melfi laughs]
Mikey Palmice: I'm gonna give you a break. When I toss you over, if you can fly, I won't shoot you down. Deal?
Tony Soprano: This psychiatry shit. Apparently what you're feelin' is not what you're feelin' and what you're not feelin' is your real agenda.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: I always thought you could make the pros. You could have done it. You had a swing like Joe D.
Tony Soprano: You're crazy.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: What? You think I'm fucking you?
Tony Soprano: Yeah, I could barely hit .250.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: That's because you didn't want it. Too busy chasing skirt. Chasing skirt, your average was .500.
Tony Soprano: Alright, lemme hear it.
Jimmy Altieri: Rusty Irish.
Tony Soprano: What about him?
Larry Boy Barese: He took a header of the falls.
Raymond Curto: That's the closest that junkie fuck ever got to a bath.
Larry Boy Barese: Yeah, well I got news for you. That junkie fuck was my biggest earner. During the football season, he moved more cards than 10 guys put together. And another thing, a certain friend of ours should've checked with me before he did a favor for the old man Capri.