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"The Sopranos" Funhouse (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: In a few weeks, we're gonna be opening up the books, again. I'm gonna propose you for membership. Congratulations.

Christopher Moltisanti: I earned it, too. Got no spleen, Gene.

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Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: We got any good tequila? You know that acupuncturist down in Puerto Rico? 26... Tell you, this broad, her ass was the second coming. Never wore panties. Brushed her teeth with this shit. Every night she'd drink me under the fucking table. And I'd eat her out when I was down there.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Hey, Puss. Did she even really exist?

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Meadow Soprano: My friends don't judge me. And fuck them if they do, I'll cut them off.

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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to his mother] ... They won't have her back at Green Grove.

Barbara Soprano Giglione: Tony...

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: She was abusive to the staff!

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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why are you making me do this, you fat, fucking, miserable piece of shit?

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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Tony is having a fever dream where Pussy is a fish on ice at a food market] How much you weigh?

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Eight pounds.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Lost a lot of weight!

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Swimmin'! The best exercise. Works every muscle group.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Get the fuck outta here! You never exercised once in your life!

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Anyway, $4 a pound.

[pause]

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: You know I've been working with the government, right, Ton'?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Don't say it.

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: C'mon, Ton'. Sooner or later, you gotta face facts.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I don't want to hear it.

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Well you're *gonna* hear it.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [dejectedly] Fuck.

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: You passed me over for promotion, Ton'. You knew.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: How much shit you give 'em?

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: A lot.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Jesus, Puss.

[pause]

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Fuck of a way for it all to end, huh?

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Yeah.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah.

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: [referring to the fish lying next to him] These guys, on either side of me... they're asleep.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Don't say that! Not fuckin' funny!

[angrily turns over the table and knocks all the fish to the ground]

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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh F**k it's the chicken Vindaloo

[Carmela walks out of the bedroom]

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: F*****g m***********g Wogs!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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