Tony Soprano: Uncle Jun, how was Boca?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Wonderful. I don't go down enough.
Carmela Soprano: That's not what I heard.
Carmela Soprano: Let's just say your uncle has acquired quite a *taste* for her.
Tony Soprano: Uncle Jun gives head?
Carmela Soprano: World class.
Tony Soprano: The old man's whistling through the wheat field?
Carmela Soprano: Don't be disgusting!
Tony Soprano: Oh, he's a Bushman of the Kalahari!
Carmela Soprano: [laughs] That's why I don't tell you anything 'cause you don't know when to stop!
Tony Soprano: Oh my God, if this ever gets out.
Carmela Soprano: Oh yeah, like you don't do it or any of your friends. Bunch of hypocrites.
Tony Soprano: Hey, what goes on in this bedroom stays here and you know that.
Carmela Soprano: Once a year? I can resist the urge to gossip.
[Tony, Junior, Silvio and Mikey are playing golf]
Tony Soprano: Uncle Jun's into muff.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: What?
Tony Soprano: Oh, did I say "muff"? I meant "rough".
Tony Soprano: What's that smell? Did you guys go to a sushi bar?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: [to Mikey] The fuck's he talkin' about?
Tony Soprano: I thought you were a baccalà man, Uncle Jun. What are you doin' eatin' sushi?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: You fuckin' run off at the mouth, you know that?
Tony Soprano: [sings] South of the border, down Mexico Way.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Hey listen, my friend. At least I can deal with my own problems. Unlike some I know.
Tony Soprano: What's that supposed to mean?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Take it however you want. Don't bullshit with me.
Silvio Dante: Hey guys, guys. We're here to play golf or what? C'mon.
Tony Soprano: [sings] South of the border where the tuna fish play.
[Tony dismisses a Bada Bing girl after Coach Don Hauser declines some VIP treatment]
Tony Soprano: Brandy, go, uh, sit on a tuffet.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: I'm sick and tired of him. Having to make excuses for him all the time.
Mikey Palmice: It isn't right.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: 'Cause he's a fuckin' mental weakling.
Mikey Palmice: I know.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: You don't know shit, Mikey! He's seeing a psychiatrist, for Christ's sake. How about that, huh? My nephew is seeing a psychiatrist! Makes me wanna cry.
Mikey Palmice: No shit.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Indictments being prepared. He's spilling his guts.
Mikey Palmice: I fuckin' knew it.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: No you didn't fuckin' know it! I just told you! God knows how much of our family business he airs, if the place is bugged.
Mikey Palmice: That stuff's not admissible. It's that, uh, that doctor-patient privilege just like us and Melvoin.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Melvoin's a lawyer. He's in the fuckin' ballpark. Suppose this shrink gets scared or something. You remember those two fuckin' Escobedo brothers, whoever the fuck, in California? They whacked their parents? The shrink was in the fuckin' witness chair.
Mikey Palmice: Shit.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Anthony wants to play games. OK. I taught him games. I taught him how to play baseball.
Mikey Palmice: You're talking about clipping him?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Nobody would slap my wrist if I did.
Bobbi Sanfillipo: Why the big secret?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: About what?
Bobbi Sanfillipo: Oral sex. What's so terrible about pleasing a woman?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: You always have to talk about everything.
Bobbi Sanfillipo: Well, I wanna know why.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: It's complicated.
Bobbi Sanfillipo: Yeah, but why?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Why? Because they think if you suck pussy you'll suck anything.
Bobbi Sanfillipo: Oh, you're kidding.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: It's a sign of weakness and possibly a sign that you're a finook.
Bobbi Sanfillipo: [chuckles] A fag? That's ridiculous. How would the two even translate?
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: What are ya gonna do? I mean, I don't make the rules.
Meadow Soprano: [Upset that Allie almost killed herself over their soccer coach and pissed at him] Fuck you!
Coach Donald 'Don' Hauser: Soprano! Run laps around the goal NOW!
Meadow Soprano: No fucking way!
Silvio Dante: [Really pissed at Meadow and starts towards her] Meadow don't make me tell your dad! Run the laps NOW!
[She goes knowing if she crosses Sil she is in deep trouble]