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"The Sopranos" Army of One (TV Episode 2001) Poster

(TV Series)

(2001)

Quotes

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I work hard all day to pay for this six thousand-square foot house, big-screen TVs, food on the table, video games, all kinds of scooters and bicycles, Columbia University, and for what? To come home to this?

A.J. Soprano: Sucks to be you.

[slaps AJ]

Carmela Soprano: [gasps] My God, Tony!

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: There's more where that came from! We're starting a new regime around here!

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Kelli Aprile: My brother's whole stupid, pathetic dream was to follow in our father's footsteps. I gotta paint a picture? He was killed by some fat fuck in see-through socks.

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Jackie Aprile Jr.: [crying over the telephone] Tony, please. I'm sorry. Please don't hang up. For my dad, if not for me.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, he's been dead two years. As a matter of fact, the expiration date was last week, and on all your bullshit with that.

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[while shopping for a dress for Jackie Aprile Jr.'s funeral, Adriana carelessly divulges several private details to her newfound friend, whom the audience knows is an undercover FBI Agent]

Adriana La Cerva: Miss? Can you tell me where I can find something more dressy? Not evening, but muted?

Saleswoman: I'll go look.

FBI Agent Deborah Ciccerone/Danielle Ciccolella: [approches Adriana] They have this great, little black cocktail I saw over there.

Adriana La Cerva: Hmmm. Those I have. Thing is, it's for a funeral.

FBI Agent Deborah Ciccerone/Danielle Ciccolella: Oh. I'm so sorry.

Adriana La Cerva: Yeah. Guy was, like, 22.

FBI Agent Deborah Ciccerone/Danielle Ciccolella: Car accident?

Adriana La Cerva: Actually, murder. It was a cousin of mine. Anyway, the last time I went to a funeral, my boyfriend bitched me out over what I wore to his boss's mother's wake. I said, 'Come on! You think Tony even noticed for, like, one minute what I had on?' But he keeps on about everything!

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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [opens the compact fridge, slams it and gives it a good kicking] I been dreaming of that fucking lo mein all the way the fuck over here. Now, who came in here and ate my shit?

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Carmela Soprano: Now, you liked Jackie, so you don't want to believe that he did this to himself. So, like a lot of other people, you go around looking for bogeymen to blame - bogeymen with Italian names.

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[Meadow reproves her cousin for making careless accusatory comments about how Jackie Jr. died]

Meadow Soprano: Our dads are in the garbage business, and it's always good for a laugh. And, yeah, they brush up against organised crime. But, do you think they control every slime ball and illegal gun in like a hundred communities? The fact that you would even say this in front of an outsider is amazing to me! Jesus Christ, some loyalty?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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